Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, local shops are being replaced by shopping centres and mall for shopping. Many individuals choose big malls for their shopping such as grocery rather than local shops and because of this many local shops have closed. The essay will discuss the pros and cons of this issue because there are several benefits for the development such as improving infrastructure and saving time.

To begin with, it will be a positive development for the layout of the country because people will pay tax in the malls for shopping which helps the government to raise funds for improving the infrastructure.For example, Malls charge GST when people puchase items from there. Therefore, the money will help to improve the infrastructure of the city. Moreover, people can save time because they easily find out all the items in one shop.

However, there are several drawbacks such as people have to visit malls for a single item and local shop owners struggle to earn money for their family needs. This means that, if people want one thing for their home, they have to visit malls which will be expensive for travelling.In addition, local people who owns their shops lose their livehoods because people prefer to visit large malls for facilities. For example, A small grocery shop in a residential neighbourhood may struggle to compete with a supermarket offering discounts and a wider selection.As a result, This can increase financial difficulties for families and reduce convenience for residents who live nearby.

To conclude, Although there are several advantages of big malls such as discounts,facilities and good infrastructure, it affects the financial stability of small shop owners

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You discuss both benefits and drawbacks, using relevant examples such as mall taxes and a neighbourhood grocery shop competing with a supermarket. However, the task asks you to decide whether this is positive or negative, and your position is not consistently clear: the introduction promises to discuss “pros and cons,” while the conclusion mentions advantages but ends by noting harm to small shop owners without stating which side you support. Some points are also under-developed. For instance, the claim that mall taxes improve infrastructure needs a clearer explanation of why this outweighs the loss of local businesses. State your overall judgement directly in the introduction and conclusion, then develop the strongest reasons supporting it with specific consequences or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “However,” and “In addition” help readers track the discussion. This clear overall arrangement is a strength. At times, though, connections are mechanical or the reference is unclear. “This means that” does not clearly explain the preceding point, and “As a result” introduces a consequence without a smooth link to the example before it. The conclusion also does not resolve the contrast established in the body. Use linking phrases to show precise cause-and-effect relationships, and make the final paragraph clearly follow from your stated position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “infrastructure,” “financial stability,” “discounts,” and “residential neighbourhood.” There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “wider selection” and “financial difficulties.” However, the range is somewhat limited, with repeated use of “people,” “malls,” and “local shops,” and several word-choice or spelling errors reduce precision. For example, “livehoods” is misspelled, and “good infrastructure” is vague in this context. Some expressions, such as “for their family needs,” are not natural collocations. Aim for more precise alternatives and check spelling and collocation so your ideas sound clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “which,” and “if,” and the main meaning is usually understandable. However, control is uneven, particularly in longer sentences. For example, “local people who owns their shops” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “if people want one thing for their home, they have to visit malls which will be expensive for travelling” has an unclear clause structure. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “a single item” and the run-on spacing in “infrastructure.For example.” Use shorter, well-controlled sentences when expressing cause and effect, and check agreement, articles, and punctuation. More accurate complex sentences would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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