Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In recent years, many local shops have been forced to close as many people prefer to shop at large shopping malls, affecting local businesses. Although these centers offer a wide range of products in one area, making it convenient for shoppers to shop and providing competitive prices, I largely believe this is a negative development, as it affects local businesses and communities.

One major disadvantage of this trend is that small stores struggle to compete with large retailers. This is mainly because shopping malls offer a large variety of items, huge discounts, and amenities, which makes shopping more convenient and hassle-free. As a result, independent shop owners may experience a significant drop in sales, leading local businesses to close permanently. This can lead to unemployment, especially for those who depend on these shops for their income. For example, a family-owned clothing shop cannot compete with large shops where they purchase their products in bulk and offer huge discounts.

Another concern is that the closure of local shops can negatively affect communities. Small stores often provides convenient for local shoppers for every day essentials, especially for elder people and for those who do not own a car. In addition, local shop owners maintain strong relationships with their customers, developing a stronger sense of community. When these stores disappear, residents may have to travel far to purchase everyday items, while the neighborhood would become less lively and less connected. For instance, local markets bring people from the nearby community together, creating a sense of community.

In conclusion, despite the variety of products and discounts offered by large supermarkets, I consider the closure of small shops a negative development. It causes damages to local business and creates unemployment and thus local shops are equally important for survival.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you “largely believe this is a negative development,” and the conclusion consistently restates that view. You address the question with two relevant reasons—pressure on independent businesses and harm to community life—and support them with examples such as a family-owned clothing shop and residents who lack a car. These points are extended with consequences, including unemployment and reduced local connection, which makes the response persuasive. To develop the argument further, explain the examples in more specific terms and avoid broad claims such as local shops being “equally important for survival.” A more precise explanation of who is affected and how would make the support more convincing and fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall progression: an introduction states your view, each body paragraph develops a separate disadvantage, and the conclusion returns to your position. Topic sentences such as “One major disadvantage” and “Another concern” help readers follow the argument, while links including “As a result” and “In addition” show relationships between ideas. Paragraphing is appropriate and the examples generally appear where they support the point. Some connections are less smooth because the second body paragraph repeats the idea of community (“sense of community” appears twice), and the final sentence introduces survival without developing that point. Varying transitions and making each concluding sentence directly synthesize its paragraph would make cohesion more flexible and less repetitive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a suitable range of vocabulary for the topic, including “independent shop owners,” “competitive prices,” “significant drop in sales,” and “strong relationships.” These choices communicate the main ideas clearly, and phrases such as “hassle-free” and “sense of community” show some flexibility. However, several word choices or collocations are imprecise: “provides convenient for local shoppers” does not express the intended meaning naturally, and “causes damages to local business” is awkward. “Huge discounts” is also repeated, as is “community,” limiting variety. Aim for more precise collocations and use alternatives such as “local retailers,” “neighbourhood cohesion,” or “price reductions” where appropriate. This would strengthen naturalness and precision while preserving your clear meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including the concessive opening “Although these centers offer…” and the result clause “leading local businesses to close permanently.” Most sentences are easy to understand, and punctuation generally supports the meaning. Some grammatical errors remain, however. In “Small stores often provides,” the plural subject requires “provide”; “often provides convenient” also needs a grammatical complement, such as “often provide convenience.” In “for elder people,” the adjective form should be “older,” and “the neighborhood would become” shifts awkwardly from the present-tense discussion. The final sentence, “It causes damages…,” also has an unclear pronoun and an incorrect plural construction. Check agreement, tense consistency, and sentence completeness during revision.

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