Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is very debatable whether buying something from local shop is good approach or visiting shopping mall is better. People are devided into two group because everyone's choices, preferences and interests are different. From my perspective, it can have detrimental impacts on local producers and small business owner because shift towards big shopping centers may stopped their earning and put them under financial pressure. This essay will outline positive and negative perspectives in detail.

To begin with, consumers give more preference to the big malls because they offer many facilities such as return or exchange policy, better deals, additional discount, and variety of options. Furthermore, some shopping centers such as walmart or food basics keep varieties of food items which is quite attractive. In contrast, local shops have limited options to offer. Thus, individuals may have to go to ten different shops in order to buy all the required grocery. This is time consuming and exhausting. This is the reasons why people choose to go to the developed facility.

Moreover, local shop owner often care about consumers need. They try to keep products that has high deman in market. Additionally, they also arrange the products on request in order to win the trust from customers. However, situations in shopping center is completely different. They generally care about their overall sell and ignore the customer's request. This development push local owners under the pressure and sell the products in less prices.

To sum up, although large centers offers many options and deals, they often do not take individual's request. This facilities can act as positive approach for the people who wants to buy everything from the same place.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You discuss both the appeal of malls and the effects on local shops, and your view that the shift can harm small businesses is present in the introduction. However, the response does not consistently answer whether the development is positive or negative: the conclusion mainly describes malls as convenient and does not clearly reaffirm your overall judgement. The body also gives more attention to consumer convenience than to the consequences for local businesses, and claims such as owners selling products at lower prices are not explained or supported with an example. To strengthen the response, state a definite overall position and develop the reasons that support it with specific consequences or a relevant real-life example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” “In contrast” and “To sum up” help signal the stages of the discussion. However, progression is not always clear: the second body paragraph shifts from local shop owners’ customer service to the pressure they face without explaining the connection, and the conclusion does not clearly resolve the question raised in the introduction. Some links are also mechanical, and “This is the reasons” does not connect the preceding points accurately. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, explain how each supporting point relates to it, and use referencing and transitions more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “financial pressure,” “variety of options,” “return or exchange policy” and “time consuming and exhausting.” These phrases make the main ideas understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “buying something from local shop,” “big shopping centers,” “overall sell” and “win the trust.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “devided,” “demand” written as “deman,” and “owner” where a plural is needed, also reduce precision. Aim for more natural expressions and check spelling and forms carefully; for example, use “local retailers,” “large shopping centres,” “overall sales” and “earn customers’ trust.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “although” and a reason clause with “because.” The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but errors in agreement, verb forms and articles occur across the response. Examples include “People are devided into two group,” “may stopped their earning,” “local shop owner often care,” and “large centers offers.” There are also problems with sentence construction in “This development push local owners under the pressure and sell the products in less prices,” where the subject and actions are unclear. Review subject–verb agreement, singular and plural forms, and verb patterns after modal verbs. Proofreading each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb would improve accuracy.

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