Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, many local shops have closed because people prefer to visit large shopping centres.I firmly believe that it is a negative development because it affects small business owners.

There are many reasons why people prefer to visit a large shopping centres. Firstly, it is easy for people to buy all things at one place.For example, people can buy grocery items, clothes and other accessories at one shop without facing any difficulties. Secondly, large shopping centres also provide discount on various occasions such as boxing day. Thirdly, it also provide large variety of items such as clothes in a different color. Due to this, people prefer to visit large shoppings centre.

In my opinion, it is a neagtive trend. Firstly, small owners may face financial difficulties because shops are the main source of income. To explain it more, if people prefer to buy things from malls then nobody can visit small shops. Secondly, many local shops provide jobs for people. It also cause unemployment. Thirdly, small shops owner also build relationship with customers. When these shops close, it also lose friendship with local people. It is also easy for people to buy things at local stores without spending money on transportation.For instance, peopl can buy things anearby local grocery stores.

In conclusion, although large shopping centres are some benefits, I believe that the closure of small shops is a negative development beacuse it harms small business.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the closure of local shops a negative development, and you return to this view in the conclusion. You address the reasons customers choose malls, including convenience, discounts and product variety, as well as effects on local businesses, employment and community relationships. These are relevant points, but some are only briefly explained. For example, the claim that shop closures cause unemployment would be stronger with a clearer explanation or a specific example, and the point about local relationships could be developed further. The response is also 13 words below the required minimum, so it needs a little more development to meet the task requirement. Add a relevant example and explain how it supports your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining why shoppers choose malls, a paragraph outlining disadvantages of shop closures, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main points. However, the repeated list-like transitions make the progression somewhat mechanical, and some links between ideas are unclear. For instance, “It also cause unemployment” does not clearly identify what “it” refers to, while the sentence about buying locally without transport costs appears after the point about community relationships without a clear transition. Use more precise referencing and connect each example directly to the point it supports to make the argument flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “financial difficulties,” “source of income,” “discount” and “unemployment.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are repetitive or imprecise, such as “large shopping centres,” “buy things” and “small shops.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, including “neagtive,” “beacuse,” “peopl” and “shoppings centre.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding your overall argument, but they reduce accuracy and naturalness. Aim to use more precise expressions for the effects on local communities and businesses, and proofread spelling and plural forms. A wider range of accurate collocations would make the response more fluent and specific.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple statements and some longer structures, including a conditional sentence beginning “if people prefer to buy things from malls” and a subordinate clause with “because.” The main meaning is generally clear, but some errors in agreement, articles, plurals and sentence boundaries remain. For example, “a large shopping centres” has an article–plural mismatch, and “It also cause unemployment” needs a verb form that agrees with its subject. The opening paragraph also runs sentences together after “shopping centres” and “one place.” Work on checking subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms, and separate sentences with appropriate punctuation. More accurate control of these patterns, alongside varied sentence forms, would strengthen the writing.

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