Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is true that most of people prefer to go supermarket rather thsn going small shops in modern era. Although this brings some positive impacts, i believe that negative aspects are manifold for this happening.

On the on hand, there are few advatange to go large shopping centre instead of going local shops. First aand foremost, when people love to viist large malls, they can buy anything while under one roof because all shops avialable there and they have no need to go distnict places for purchasing something important which helps them only only save time but also costs because many shops give special discount on special ocassions. In addition to it, it create job opportunities for people that is why they can easily cater their fundamental needs and they have no need to look after other complete basic necessaties because they can become independant

On the other hand, i believe local shops has own importance that is why it should not closed completly despite large shopping mall. First of all, if local shops closed, their culture and root can not alive because their offsprings can deprived from their ancestors. For instance, in Punjab, most of people wear saries and suits which is only available in local shops, their children can not get knowledge about it as a consequence, they would not follow their rituals. Apart from it, it brings an umemployment for local people because when their shops shut down, they can not meet their needs which harms the local economy,

To conclusion, while this phenomenon has some benefits, i belive that demerits can not be ignored.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you acknowledge benefits of malls but conclude that the closure of local shops is negative. You address both sides with relevant points, including convenience, discounts and employment at malls, and the loss of local livelihoods and traditions. The example of clothing in Punjab helps make the cultural point more concrete. However, some ideas are not fully explained: the claim that local shops preserve culture, for instance, needs a clearer link between the shops, the products they sell and the continuation of traditions. The point about mall jobs is also asserted rather than supported. Develop each main reason with a specific explanation or example, and keep the focus on whether the closures themselves are positive or negative.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits, a contrasting paragraph explaining drawbacks, and a conclusion that restates your view. Signposting such as “On the other hand” and “To conclusion” makes the broad direction easy to follow, and the main ideas are generally grouped appropriately. This already gives the essay a clear progression. However, some links are mechanical or unclear, and several ideas run together within long sentences. For example, the sentence beginning “First of all, if local shops closed” moves from culture to clothing to children’s knowledge without clearly separating the steps in the argument. Use clearer sentence boundaries and more precise referencing, and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “job opportunities,” “local economy,” “discount” and “fundamental needs,” so the reader can understand the main arguments. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-choice and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to interpret. Examples include “most of people,” “distnict places,” “an umemployment” and “their offsprings can deprived from their ancestors.” Some expressions also do not convey the intended meaning clearly, particularly the claim about children being deprived of their ancestors. Build accuracy with common topic collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary for local businesses, cultural traditions and economic effects would help express your ideas with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional clause (“if local shops closed”) and a contrast structure (“Although this brings some positive impacts…”). This shows an effort to vary sentence patterns. However, attempts at longer sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction can make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “local shops has own importance” needs a plural subject with a matching verb, while “it create job opportunities” has a subject–verb agreement problem. In “their children can not get knowledge about it as a consequence,” the relationship between clauses also needs clearer punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences first, then combine related ideas using controlled subordinate clauses.

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