Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this cutting edge era, it is an irrefuctable fact that, customers love to do shopping from the shopping malls instead of small local shops and effects on their bussiness. In my opnion, it is a positive as well a negative development as it not only offers multifarious benefits but also a few problem emerge due to this. The upcoming paragraphs wouls shed light on the both.

To commence with positive evolution of traveling in big shopping centre as compared to local shops, there are multitude benefits in the context are variety of things avaliable, branded products and their quality is much better than the products in the local shops. In addition, most of the folks love to do shopping from malls because they can get multiple kind of things from just one place they do not have to cover any long distance to find different products. Moreover, i remember there was a birthday party of my friend i went to mall to get the birthday gift for her, then my move called me to bring the approns for her. First I bought gift for her and then went to dollarama which was just next to the gift shop to get the approns for my mom. Due to this , I saved a lot of my time, otherwise if I shopped from local gift shop i will have to go 2 km far to buy the approns. Shopping centres are so conveince.

On the flip side of the coin, some opponents are against the aformentioned assertions. Firsty it has a bad impact on the income of the small shops as a result they have to close their business. Most of shopkeepers and employees lose their jobs. Also they face so difficulty to compete with large scale shoppind centre. For instance p, according to BBC news 80% of local shops were closed in last 9 years due to the development of shopping centers.

To recapitulate, although there are certain positives of large shopping centres, negatives of the same cannot be ingored, including shopkeepers and employees lose their in small local shops and face difficulty to compete with big scale shopping malls.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear overall view: malls offer convenience, while their growth harms small businesses and workers. The birthday-shopping example supports the convenience point, and the claim that local shops lose income is relevant. This meets the task well, but the position is not fully settled: calling the development both positive and negative does not clearly answer which side you consider stronger. Some ideas also need fuller explanation. For example, you mention job losses but do not explore their effects on workers or communities, and the BBC statistic is not explained or connected to a specific consequence. State which side outweighs the other and develop one or two key reasons more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “To commence with,” “On the flip side,” and “To recapitulate” make the overall direction easy to follow. The example also gives the first body paragraph a clear supporting detail. However, some linking is mechanical, and the long sequence of ideas in the first body paragraph makes the progression less smooth. The reference to “my move” is unclear, so the reader has to infer who called. The conclusion repeats the disadvantages but does not clearly resolve the balanced position introduced earlier. Use simpler, more precise transitions and make each paragraph’s main point and supporting explanation connect more directly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary, including “multifarious benefits,” “branded products,” and “compete,” and the reader can generally understand your meaning. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “positive evolution” is not a natural way to describe this change, “shopping from” is repeated where “shopping at” would fit, and “face so difficulty” is not idiomatic. Spelling errors such as “irrefuctable,” “bussiness,” and “conveince” are noticeable, while phrases like “cutting edge era” and “aforementioned assertions” sound forced in this context. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than ornate wording, and proofread spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast structure in “although there are certain positives… negatives… cannot be ignored” and a reason-result link with “as a result.” Meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in sentence construction and verb forms remain noticeable. For example, “they can get multiple kind of things… they do not have to cover” joins clauses without clear punctuation, and “if I shopped… I will have to go” shifts tense inconsistently. There are also agreement and article problems in “a few problem emerge” and “most of shopkeepers.” Improve control by checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and tense consistency, and by separating long sentences or joining their clauses with accurate punctuation.

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