Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the past few years, there is an ongoing trend of buying clothes from a huge shopping malls over local vendors. From my perspective, it is a negative trend as destroying local business can have an impact on economy of small towns. I will further elaborate my opinion with relevant examples.

Firstly, it needs a significant hardwork to open a business and it is duty of locals to support and grow the business. Although, there are not a range of varities available to shop but atleast we do not have to compromise on quality. Moreover, it gives an employment to many locals who are not educated enough to get a high paid job. By reducing their business, the rate of unemployment among locals can increase.

Secondly, malls are very expensive. It has all the branded showrooms, and offer highly valuable clothes. Furthermore, it can be difficult for a middle class family to buy clothes. On the other hand, local shops offer at a reasonable and affordable price. Additionally, owners of a small businesses value their customers and provide great service.While this can be a challenging in malls, where there are not enough of employee to meet the demand of high volume customers.

To recapitulate, by taking into consideration of this highly evolving socities where they prefer to spend a large amount of money to buy from luxurious malls, they are eventually destroying the traditional culture of purchasing and supporting our local vendors.Ultimately, it is a negative impact and people needs to start realising the importance of shopping from small business.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the closure of local shops a negative development, and the conclusion reinforces this view. You address the question with relevant reasons, including local employment, affordability, and the personal service offered by small businesses. These points show a sound response to the task. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the claim that local shops protect the economy of small towns is not developed with a clear explanation or example. The comparison with malls also focuses mainly on clothing prices, so the discussion could be broader. To strengthen the response, explain the consequences of each point and add a specific example, such as how a local shop supports nearby suppliers or serves residents without easy access to a mall.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “To recapitulate” help readers follow the main stages of the argument. The ideas within each paragraph are generally relevant to its focus. At times, however, connections are mechanical or unclear. “Although” begins a sentence without a clear main clause, and “While this can be a challenging in malls” does not connect smoothly to the preceding point about customer service. Some references, such as “it” in the discussion of malls, could also be clearer. Use linking expressions that show the precise relationship between ideas, and make sure each paragraph develops one connected line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “unemployment,” “affordable price,” “branded showrooms,” and “traditional culture.” This gives you enough range to discuss the main issues, and your meaning is generally understandable. However, several inaccurate word choices, collocations, and spelling errors reduce precision: “huge shopping malls,” “a significant hardwork,” “a range of varities,” and “highly evolving socities” are examples. Some phrases are also vague, such as “highly valuable clothes.” Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise expressions for employment, prices, and the effects on local communities would make your argument sound more natural and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “While,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, some sentence structures and grammatical forms are inaccurate. For instance, “Although, there are not a range of varities available to shop but…” combines two contrasting structures, while “people needs to start” has a subject–verb agreement error. Articles and plurals also need attention in phrases such as “a huge shopping malls” and “owners of a small businesses.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries are sometimes faulty, particularly where “service.While” runs together. Practise building complete complex sentences and check agreement, articles, and punctuation during revision.

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