Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls. In my view it is a negative development .

Local business,produce, handmade crafts by local artist promotes creativity. The ancient local art like bandhej print of Rajasthan which was done by hand by local artists will be lost and no one would know how to do it in future. There will be mass production of printed emojis and characters on the T-shirt. Our heritage art and culture would be lost with closing of the small shops.

Although with industrialization revolution society is more inclined towards branded product of mass production which won't last longer. We have lost the charm of using a product after repair if something breaks we just through it as there is no small local shop who has technicials to fix a broken toaster, heater or any other applicance so it can be re-used. We are creating a larger carbon footprint and eliminating jobs of skilled technicians, creating lot of unemployment.

These days rich people find it easy to go to a mall and buy everything they need from one mall all the way from food to applicances to clothes, rather then going to small shops for seperate things at lower prices.

Overall, people don't have time to get applicance repaired or go to small shops. So small local shops are closing due to lack of customers. Poor people don't have jobs and their business are ruined, there is no creativity and unique charm in the product. We are creating unemployment and impacting our heritage at the cost of high rise glittering shopping centers with discounts posted everywhere. Even though malls is current trend it is a negative development and should not be promoted

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the opening and conclusion: you consider the closure of local shops a negative development. You address the topic with relevant consequences, including the loss of traditional crafts, repair services, skilled jobs and employment. The example of Rajasthan’s bandhej printing gives the argument useful specificity. This meets the task well, but some points are asserted more than explained: for instance, the claim that mass-produced goods “won’t last longer” could be supported with a clearer comparison, and the point about poorer people losing jobs could be developed further. To strengthen the response, explain the links between mall shopping and each consequence more precisely, and support the main claims with a concrete example or evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs present cultural and economic reasons, and the final paragraph restates your position. Ideas are generally relevant and can be followed. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes uneven. The paragraph beginning “Although with industrialization revolution” moves from branded products to repair culture, carbon emissions and unemployment without clearly showing how each point connects. The final paragraph also repeats several earlier claims rather than drawing them together. Some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “so” and “there is.” Group related points more tightly, use clearer references between sentences, and make the conclusion synthesise rather than repeat the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “heritage,” “mass production,” “carbon footprint,” “skilled technicians” and “unemployment.” The reference to bandhej printing also helps make the discussion specific. There are attempts at less common expressions, but some choices or combinations are inaccurate or imprecise, such as “industrialization revolution,” “eliminating jobs” and “high rise glittering shopping centers.” Spelling errors such as “technicials,” “applicance” and “seperate” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but more precise collocations and careful proofreading would make the argument sound more natural. Aim to choose vocabulary that expresses the intended relationship clearly, rather than relying on broad or awkward phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “a product after repair if something breaks” and a contrast introduced by “Although.” The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Local business, produce, handmade crafts … promotes” has unclear sentence structure and agreement, while “Although with industrialization revolution society is more inclined” is not a complete, well-formed clause. There are also errors in articles, plurals and sentence boundaries, as in “malls is current trend.” Work on building complete clauses, checking subject–verb agreement, and using punctuation to separate connected ideas. More accurate control of these patterns would make your complex sentences easier to follow.

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