Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years,due to developmental changes. Some people think it has c cause negative effect among small local shops and benefited the profits to malls and large shopping centers.I would discuss the effect of developmental changes among local domestic and shopping malls centers.

This paragraph emphasize on the negative aspect of development among local domestic business.The closure of local shops because of no clients,leads to unpaid bills and unemployment of other staff working in the shop.The investments on shops by shop owner decline with passage of time.If some client arrive to purchase,he will pay half amount of product.It very deterimental to found shops in local store due to long distance and no parking sites avalible, excessive traffic jam resulting in tension.

This paragraph emphasize on the positive aspect of development among shopping mall centers.All the shops including clothing,cinema,food court, play area are under the one roof of big buildings.Building attracts tourist and prices are really high.But it doesnot matters because it reduce stress and time of shopping,provides sitting area and parking lots too.

In my knowledge of experience,i would like to say it has negative aspect among the local domestic businesses and positive impact on people in saving their precious time.Finding every thing under one building without any trouble.Having enjoyment,entertainment,shopping,food court under one roof.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the development and state a final view: local businesses suffer, while shoppers benefit from convenience. Relevant points include shop closures causing unemployment and malls offering parking and several services in one place. However, the position is not clear throughout: the opening says you will discuss effects, while the conclusion calls the development negative for local businesses but positive for people without clearly judging the overall development. Several ideas are asserted rather than explained, and there is no specific example to support them. The response also contains 214 words, below the required 250, so the discussion is too brief to develop the reasons adequately. State your overall judgement directly and extend it with explanation or a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs on local shops and malls, and a concluding paragraph. This helps readers identify the two sides being discussed. However, progression within paragraphs is limited, and the repeated openings “This paragraph emphasize on” make the organisation sound mechanical rather than guiding the argument. The final paragraph repeats benefits such as saving time and having everything under one roof instead of drawing the points together into a clear conclusion. Some links between ideas are also unclear, particularly the shift from high prices to reduced stress. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, connect reasons with clear cause-and-effect links, and make the conclusion resolve the question directly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “unemployment,” “investments,” “shopping mall,” “parking lots,” and “entertainment.” This gives you a basic range for discussing the effects on businesses and shoppers. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “developmental changes,” “local domestic business,” “the profits to malls,” and “found shops in local store.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “deterimental,” “avalible,” and “doesnot,” also reduce accuracy. These choices sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Aim for precise, natural collocations—for example, “small local businesses,” “mall profits,” and “shops struggle to remain open”—and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer structures, such as “The closure of local shops because of no clients, leads to unpaid bills and unemployment,” and you use simple sentences to present benefits. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to understand. The opening contains an incomplete sentence (“In recent years, due to developmental changes.”), while “Some people think it has c cause negative effect” has faulty structure and missing grammatical elements. Other examples include “It very deterimental” and “it reduce stress,” where the verb forms and sentence construction are incorrect. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, articles, and punctuation. A few accurate complex sentences would help express cause and contrast more clearly.

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