Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, i have noticed that the small business are shutting down there business because now a days people prefer to go to the shopping mall rather than these small shopkeeper and it is creating a negative devlopment rather than positive.

One benifit going to the shopping mall and doing the shopping is there we get a lot of variety to explore we can go the different shops to compare the prices see the discounts going on the items we are willing to buy. shopping mall is a place where we can find everything of our need from tip to toe. there are also other facilites like food court if you are feeling hungry we can go to a resturant and have someting which we like the most for entertaiment we can go and whatch amovie lot of parking space so need not need to worry that we can get aticket as we have parked our car on the streets.

however, the small local shops that are getting closed due to these big shopping mall is creating a negative impact on small businessman as now a days its hard for them to earn their bread and butter here i would like a example of my friend he is running a small mobile shop in mumabi from last 20 years bu t from last 2-3 years he was telling that the customer are now willing to buy everything online from amazon, best buy etc because everytime they are having some offers on credit card or any gift vouchers etc. so now a days whenever a customer is coming to his shop he/she is always comparing the rate from online and they demand the price tehy are getting online.

In conclusion, the growing popularity of shopping centres has made shopping easier, but the closure of small local shops has a damaging effect on communities and local economies. Therefore, I consider this a negative development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you regard the closure of local shops as a negative development, and the conclusion restates this view. You also acknowledge the convenience of malls, mentioning variety, price comparisons, food and entertainment, before explaining the harm to small businesses. The example of your friend’s mobile shop gives the argument a relevant personal illustration. However, the positive side is described in more detail than the consequences for communities and local economies, which are asserted mainly in the conclusion. The example focuses on online shopping rather than customers moving to malls, so its connection to the exact question could be made clearer. Develop the wider effects of shop closures and link each example directly to the trend in the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph about mall advantages, a contrasting paragraph about local businesses, and a conclusion. The contrast marker “however” helps signal the shift to your main concern, while “In conclusion” makes your final position easy to identify. At times, though, the progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow. The mall paragraph strings together variety, discounts, food, entertainment and parking in one long sequence, and the business paragraph moves from the general impact to an example and then online price comparisons without clearly separating the steps. Use shorter, more focused sentences and clearer links between each claim and its explanation. This would make the organisation more consistently logical and cohesion less dependent on basic signposting.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “shopping mall,” “discounts,” “local shops,” “small businessman,” and “local economies.” Phrases such as “earn their bread and butter” also show an attempt to use idiomatic language. However, the range is limited in places, and spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable: “devlopment,” “benifit,” “facilites,” and “entertaiment” occur alongside less natural expressions such as “everything of our need” and “compare the rate from online.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding your main point, but they reduce precision and fluency. Aim for accurate topic-specific collocations, such as “compare prices online” and “a wide range of products,” and proofread spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary for community effects would also strengthen the argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “as,” and your main position remains understandable. However, control is uneven: several long sentences contain multiple ideas without clear grammatical boundaries, particularly the mall paragraph. There are also errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction, as in “the small business are shutting down there business” and “the customer are now willing.” The opening sentence and the example about your friend would be clearer with accurate subject–verb agreement and more controlled clause structure. Practise building complex sentences around one main idea, then check articles, plurals and verb forms. More accurate punctuation, especially full stops between complete thoughts, would improve readability.

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