Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants.

Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ................. ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir

I am Akashdeep Singh, writing here regarding our last conversation which was related to a career opportunity in one of your restaurants. Currently I am residing at House Number 2506, Sector 29C, Chandigarh. While I was subbmitting report of Project held at Mumbai , which was the possible reason of our meet as well , all of sudden my mind stuck at the conversation held between us.

Moreover, I still remember the time when I was commuting back to Chandigarh from Mumbai on dated 20th Sepetember 2026 via indigo flight. Fortunately, I was sitting next to you and we had a appealing conversation about our current whereabouts. Meanwhile , I came to know that you are a owner of restaurants located at porch areas. As I have done Masters In Hotel Management, I would request a oppotunity to work under your leadership. Besides , Currently I am at heading the position of Head Chef in one of the renowned restaurant in Chandigarh and I want to continue the same but this time in of your restaurants. Although , I am earning handsome salary here still I feel that my skill set need to be brushen-up. As you are far optimistic towards young talent I think I would never disappoint you at this.

I hope I will hear soon from you on this. Looking forward to work with you.

Yours Sincerely

Akashdeep Singh

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You successfully covered all parts of the task requirements. You reminded the reader of when and where you met, specifically mentioning the indigo flight from Mumbai to Chandigarh on 20th September 2026. You clearly stated the kind of job you are interested in by asking for an opportunity to work as a Head Chef in one of his restaurants, and you explained your suitability by highlighting your Master's degree in Hotel Management and your current experience heading a kitchen in Chandigarh. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed or unclear, such as the irrelevant mention of submitting a project report in Mumbai, which detracts slightly from the direct focus of the letter. To reach a higher level, ensure that all background details strictly contribute to the main purpose of the letter without including confusing narrative tangents.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your letter has a coherent overall arrangement, and you attempted to use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas, such as 'Moreover', 'Meanwhile', and 'Besides'. However, the referencing is not always clear, and the overall progression is occasionally disrupted by mechanical or faulty cohesion. For instance, starting multiple sentences with transitional devices feels slightly repetitive and unnatural, and your paragraphing could be structured more cleanly to separate your greeting, reminder of the meeting, job proposal, and closing remarks. To improve further, work on making transitions flow more smoothly and naturally without relying heavily on formulaic connectors at the beginning of every sentence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You demonstrated an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'career opportunity', 'commuting back', and 'renowned restaurant'. However, your writing contains noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that prevent you from achieving a higher score. For example, you misspelled 'subbmitting', 'appealing' (when you likely meant 'pleasant' or 'engaging'), and 'oppotunity'. There are also awkward word choices and collocations, such as writing 'a owner' instead of 'an owner', 'porch areas' instead of 'prime areas' or 'upscale areas', and 'brushen-up' instead of 'brush up'. To improve, you should carefully check your spelling and expand your awareness of natural collocations in professional contexts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You used a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over your grammatical structures with sentences like 'Although I am earning a handsome salary here still I feel that my skill set need to be brushen-up.' However, your writing contains several errors in grammar and punctuation. There are punctuation issues, such as unnecessary spaces before commas ('Meanwhile , I came...'), article errors like 'in of your restaurants' instead of 'in one of your restaurants', and subject-verb agreement issues such as 'my skill set need' instead of 'needs'. Furthermore, your attempts at complex sentences frequently contain structural flaws. To achieve a higher score, you need to eliminate basic grammatical errors and ensure your complex sentences are formed accurately and punctuated correctly.

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