Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants.

Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ................. ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sam,

I am writing this letter in context of our recent conversation during our plane journey from Vancouver to India, where you mentioned about your resturants chain. I am keen to join your business as an employee with the suitable position.

I have completed my post-graduation in Marketing Media and looking for an opportunity where I can impelement my theoritical and pratical knowledge to boost the business sales. Bu joining your company with a position of Business Developer or Marketing Manager would be beneficial for the growth of your business as well as my career. As In this era, a good maketing support enhance the sale of and populairty of the business.

In my prepective, I will be a good fit for your organization as I have the relatable education and skills along with the passionate attitude, to boost the company's perormance.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours Faithfully

Akanksha

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three points: you refer to the journey from Vancouver to India, identify business development or marketing management as the work you want, and explain that your marketing education and skills could support the business. The purpose of contacting Sam is clear, and the letter has an appropriate opening and closing. However, the meeting reminder is incomplete because you do not say when the journey took place, and the suitability explanation remains general: “passionate attitude” and “relatable education and skills” are not supported with a specific example or achievement. Develop these points with a concrete strength, such as relevant experience or a result you achieved, and make the job request more direct. This would make the response more fully developed across the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a coherent overall arrangement: it opens by recalling the conversation, then explains your preferred role and suitability, before closing politely. Paragraphing helps distinguish these functions, and the reader can follow your main purpose. Some connections are less smooth, however. The first paragraph moves from the journey to the restaurant chain and then to a broad request for a position without clearly linking these ideas. In the second paragraph, “As In this era” creates an awkward transition, while “as well as my career” shifts attention away from the employer. Use clearer links between your qualifications, the role sought, and the benefit to the business, and keep references such as “your business” precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to employment and marketing, including “post-graduation,” “Business Developer,” “Marketing Manager,” and “boost the business sales.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main purpose, but control is uneven and several spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, such as “resturants,” “impelement,” “theoritical,” “maketing,” and “perormance.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “in context of our recent conversation,” “relatable education,” and “enhance the sale of and popularity” do not express your ideas smoothly. Choose familiar, accurate collocations rather than forcing formal-sounding phrases, and proofread spelling. More precise wording about your experience and contribution would strengthen the letter.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including the relative clause “where you mentioned…” and the conditional-style explanation of how your appointment could benefit the business. The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “I have completed … and looking” needs a parallel verb form (“and am looking”), and “a good marketing support enhance” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The phrase “As In this era” is also incorrectly punctuated and structured, and “I have the relatable education and skills along with the passionate attitude, to boost…” has an awkward article and comma placement. Review agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, while keeping some complex structures.

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