Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants.

Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter

• remind him when and where you met
• tell him what kind of job you are interested in
• say why you think you would be suitable for the job

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ................. ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Japan,

This is Sandhya Mehta. I hope you got some idea from my name that we met in a flight before a week when we were travelling to Chicago. I am writing to you beacuse you mentioned a job possition that you guys are hiring a general manager for one of your restraunt.

I am working as an event manager at banquet hall and, as my backgroud of hospitality managment I am looking for some more career opportunities in well established oragnization where I can show my colours and explore the field more.

I do have enogh exerience in hotel management and I checked your career website I find the job posting it very intresting. I would like to show you that what I can bring to the table if you can give me a chance I can prove you that I am a person who you guys are looking for.

Regards

Yours sincerely,

Sandhya

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The letter addresses the main purpose and includes all three requested points: you identify the flight to Chicago, express interest in a general manager position, and refer to your hospitality and event-management experience. These details make the response relevant. However, the meeting reminder is vague (“before a week”) and the suitability claim is not supported with concrete examples, such as managing staff, budgets, or customer service. The opening “Dear Japan” also does not clearly identify the businessman and may confuse the reader. To strengthen the response, give a clearer reminder of when you met and explain specifically how your experience matches the role.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The information follows a generally sensible order: you recall the meeting, explain your career interest, and then describe your experience and suitability. Paragraph breaks help separate these points. However, the progression is not always clear because several ideas are crowded into long sentences, particularly the sentence beginning “I would like to show you.” Connections between your current role, your career goals, and the advertised vacancy could also be made more explicit. The closing is confusing because “Regards” and “Yours sincerely” are both used. Use shorter, clearly focused sentences and a consistent letter format to make the message easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the situation, including “event manager,” “hospitality management,” “career opportunities,” and “job posting.” This gives the reader a basic understanding of your background and interest. However, spelling errors and imprecise or informal expressions are noticeable, including “possition,” “restraunt,” “show my colours,” and “you guys.” Some phrases are also unnatural in this context, such as “I checked your career website I find the job posting it very interesting.” Choose accurate, professional wording and check spelling carefully; this will make your application sound more credible and reduce the effort required to understand it.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The letter attempts to combine ideas using clauses, for example in “I hope you got some idea from my name that we met…” and “if you can give me a chance I can prove you…”. However, these longer constructions are often faulty, and sentence boundaries are not consistently controlled. In “I checked your career website I find the job posting it very interesting,” clauses are joined without appropriate punctuation and the verb forms do not fit together clearly. There are also errors in articles and prepositions, as in “in a flight” and “at banquet hall.” Aim for shorter, complete sentences first, then add complex structures with accurate punctuation and verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.