Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants.

Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ................. ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

dear sir,

the purpose of writting this email is i need a job , i want to share with you we met at plane at last weekend june 23rd, we had seats together, our seat number was A23 and A24. my name is john hope you remember me, during our journey you share with me you own a chain of restaurants all over the world.

i want to share with you actually i leave my job after that journey because my restaurant owner want to leave our country and he sell that restraunt to a new owner and he change it with hotel. now i need a job in management positions like manager, assistant manager or supervisior.

i think i am a perfect match for these job positions because i have relevent experience regarding those positions of 8 years i start from supervisior and then they give me pormotion as i work hard and i was punctual.

hope you well unerstand my situation and give me chance for serving you.

yours trully

john.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points: you remind the businessman that you met on a plane, identify management roles you would consider, and explain your eight years of experience and promotion. These details make the purpose of the letter clear. However, some points are less fully developed than others. The meeting reference, “at last weekend june 23rd,” is unclear, and the seat numbers add detail without helping the recipient identify the journey as effectively as a route or flight detail would. Your suitability is relevant, but you could support it with a specific example of your management responsibilities or achievements. A clearer, more courteous request for a conversation or interview would also complete the purpose more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The information follows a broadly sensible order: you explain the meeting, describe your current employment situation, and then state the roles you want and why you are suitable. Paragraph breaks also help separate these main points. However, the progression is sometimes weakened by repeated openings such as “i want to share with you,” and several ideas are joined in long sentences with limited punctuation. For example, the account of your former employer and restaurant runs together, making the sequence harder to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and linking phrases such as “Since then” or “Regarding the position,” and make sure each paragraph develops one main purpose. This would make the letter easier to read without changing its content.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough job-related vocabulary to communicate your main message, including “management positions,” “manager,” “assistant manager,” “experience,” and “promotion.” However, the range is limited and several spelling or word-choice errors reduce the professional impression expected in a job enquiry. Examples include “writting,” “restraunt,” “supervisior,” and “pormotion.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “perfect match for these job positions” and “serving you.” Choose more precise expressions, for example, “well suited to these roles” and “work for your restaurant group.” Careful proofreading and a wider range of formal employment vocabulary would make your meaning more polished and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the reader can generally understand the main message. However, some errors in sentence structure, verb forms, articles, and punctuation make parts difficult to follow. For instance, “the purpose of … this email is i need a job” needs a clearer clause structure, while “you share with me you own” should use past-tense reporting and a correctly formed clause. The sentence about your previous employer also combines several events without clear grammatical boundaries. Practise forming complete sentences with accurate tense and punctuation, and use a more consistent formal letter style. These changes would improve control while preserving the useful range of ideas you already attempt.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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