Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants.

Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter

• remind him when and where you met
• tell him what kind of job you are interested in
• say why you think you would be suitable for the job

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ................. ,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr. Vance,

Good afternoon, I hope you are doing well.

I am that woman who sat next to you and had a conversation about a lot of topics with you on the plane to Beijing in last weekend. I believe that you are remember me and you told me that you can offer me an occupation in the one of the restaurants that you run.

I am eager to work as a marketing manager in the restaurant which is located in Ulaanbaatar city. I am extremely confident about I am suitable for this position. Because I graduated top university in this major, have plenty of experience in that field and I am considerably respected by my previous employer. I will significantly contribute to your business's improvement and make your profit to peak with my ability to attract customers.

Finally, thanks for your generous suggestion and I hope you will accept my request that get the position of manager. I am looking forward your response.

Please find attached my diploma of university and the recommendation letter from my previous company.

Thank you so much!

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three required points: you identify the journey to Beijing, request a marketing-manager role, and give reasons for your suitability, including your education, experience, and positive standing with a former employer. The purpose is clear and the details are relevant. The explanation of your qualifications is promising, but it is compressed into a list, so the reader learns little about your specific marketing experience or achievements. The meeting reminder would also be more precise if you stated when the journey took place rather than saying “in last weekend.” To strengthen the letter further, briefly connect a concrete skill or result to the restaurant role and make the requested next step explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter follows a generally sensible order: greeting, reminder of the meeting, job interest and suitability, then a closing request and supporting documents. Paragraphing helps distinguish the main stages, and expressions such as “Finally” signal a move towards the conclusion. However, progression within the suitability paragraph is abrupt: “Because I graduated…” is separated from the preceding sentence, and the qualifications are presented as a compressed list. The closing also moves quickly from thanks to the attachment note. Use complete, connected sentences and clearer links between your experience, the role, and the benefit to the business. A conventional sign-off would make the ending feel more complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary relevant to employment and business, including “marketing manager,” “previous employer,” “contribute,” and “attract customers.” These choices make your purpose understandable, and you attempt more formal expressions such as “generous suggestion.” However, several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, including “offer me an occupation,” “top university in this major,” and “make your profit to peak.” “I am that woman” is also less natural than a polite reminder of who you are. These collocation and word-choice problems make parts of the letter sound less fluent, even though the intended meaning is usually clear. Aim for natural professional phrases rather than translating expressions directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the reader can generally follow the message. Some grammatical errors, however, affect fluency and occasionally make a sentence difficult to process. For example, “I believe that you are remember me” has an incorrect verb form, while “I am extremely confident about I am suitable” uses an incorrect structure after “confident.” The sentence beginning “Because I graduated…” is a fragment, and “I am looking forward your response” is missing the required preposition. There are also errors in articles and prepositions in “in last weekend” and “in the one of the restaurants.” Review verb patterns, sentence completeness, and prepositions, while keeping your attempts at longer sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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