Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there.

What is your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Eliminating small businesses has become increasingly common in recent years. The reason behind this is because people prefer going to supermarkets for shopping instead of visiting local vendors. This essay will examine the positive aspects of this development.

One significant reason is that huge shopping malls offer variety of food options under one roof and provide convenience. The working individual favors to purchase all at one time rather than rushing to multiple stores. For example, no frills sell numerous items such as local and international products which includes produce, milk, grains, Chinese, Italian, Indian food grains and so on are available in a major store for customers convenience. Consequently, people love to visit to save their time on grocery shopping instead of spending the whole day.

Another important point is that money-saving strategy could be one factor in visiting the massive centers while small traders would not be able to offer heavy discounts. For instance, no frills usually have point-based discounts for their customers who purchase any food items from their business and in return they can redeem those earned points in cash in exchange for their next visit once they reach certain limits. This could be a reason which enables buyers to visit often for their benefits. On the other hand, micro businesses fail to approach this strategy due to limitation of bundle buying from the manufacturer.

In conclusion, Convenience is a key factor for busy schedule pupils and to learn strategies to earn and save money while shopping.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0

The student has completely misinterpreted the task prompt. The prompt clearly asks about building new homes in the countryside versus protecting rural areas. However, the student's essay discusses the disappearance of small businesses, the rise of supermarkets, and consumer shopping habits. This is a severe off-topic response that fails to address any part of the actual prompt regarding housing and the countryside. According to the band descriptors, when a response is largely off-topic, it must receive a low band score for task achievement. The introduction states that eliminating small businesses is common and mentions examining the positive aspects of this development, which is entirely unrelated to the provided stimulus. Although the student writes about supermarkets and discounts, these ideas do not answer the question asked. Therefore, the task achievement score reflects this complete misunderstanding of the prompt requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

Despite being completely off-topic, the essay displays a basic logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The student attempts to use cohesive devices such as 'One significant reason', 'Another important point', and 'In conclusion' to signal the progression of ideas. However, paragraphing is problematic; the conclusion is a single fragment sentence. Furthermore, referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall cohesion can feel mechanical. While there is a discernible attempt to organise the writing, the lack of a proper topic and the abrupt, incomplete concluding sentence drag the cohesion score down. Cohesive devices are present but used in a somewhat formulaic manner, fitting the lower-intermediate profile.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary with frequent inappropriate word choices and collocations. Examples include phrases like 'working individual favors to purchase all at one time' and 'busy schedule pupils'. The repetition of 'no frills' as a proper noun for a supermarket chain without proper contextual integration is awkward. There are also issues with word forms, such as 'Convenience is a key factor for busy schedule pupils'. While the student attempts some less common vocabulary like 'consequence', 'discount', and 'manufacturer', the execution is flawed and often results in unnatural phrasing. Vocabulary is adequate to convey basic commercial concepts, but the inaccuracies and lack of precision prevent it from reaching a higher band level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the text. There are frequent errors in verb patterns, articles, and prepositions. For instance, the phrase 'The reason behind this is because people prefer' is a common redundancy. Other errors include 'offer variety of food options' (missing article), 'visitors to save their time' (unnecessary preposition 'to' after visit), and 'due to limitation of bundle buying' (missing article). The final sentence, 'In conclusion, Convenience is a key factor for busy schedule pupils and to learn strategies to earn and save money while shopping', is grammatically incomplete and disjointed. Complex structures are attempted, but they are frequently faulty, leading to noticeable strain for the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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