Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-07-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
- explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months
- say how your work could be done while you are away
- ask for his/her help in arranging it
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ................. ,
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Dear sir/madam
I would like to introduce my proposal of working in head office of our company for half a year at another location.
To begin with, although I have been working in this company for so long but I would like to upskill my knowledge. By attaining head office experience, I would look forward to seek advantageous position in same company which has not only minimum hours of work but also decent amount of salary. Since as a part of international company I am facing some time management concerns and do not acquire to see my family often.
Moving to arrange replacement, I would like to refer a good friend who has 6 years of experience in same field. Being accountable of my suggestions, I would like to provide some information based on his 6 years of work, resume has been attached to the email.
I would appreciate your comments on this request. I acknowledge that giving me this opportunity would bring substantial optimistic change to organization. I am hopeful that you will help me out through this.
thanks regards.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The letter addresses all three bullet points: the reason for the request, the coverage of work, and the request for assistance. However, the development of ideas is somewhat weak. The explanation for wanting to move is slightly unprofessional, focusing on 'minimum hours' and 'decent salary' rather than professional development. Furthermore, the explanation of how work will be covered is vague; suggesting a friend to replace you is not a standard professional procedure for a six-month secondment. The tone is also inconsistent, shifting between formal and informal, which impacts the overall effectiveness of the communication.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, each addressing a specific requirement of the prompt. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with' and 'Moving to', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'Moving to arrange replacement'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the connection between the friend and the current workload is not fully explained. Overall, the progression of ideas is logical, but the flow could be improved with more natural linking phrases.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of unnatural word choice and collocation errors. For example, 'upskill my knowledge' is redundant, 'look forward to seek' is grammatically incorrect, and 'do not acquire to see my family' is confusing. The phrase 'substantial optimistic change' is also somewhat unnatural in this context. While the student attempts to use more complex vocabulary, the lack of precision often hinders the clarity of the message. A wider range of professional collocations would improve the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The letter contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'I have been working in this company for so long but I would like to' (conjunction error), 'in same company' (missing article), and 'Since as a part of international company' (awkward phrasing). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the lack of capitalization in 'thanks regards'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher band score. More attention to articles, prepositions, and sentence structure is required.
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