Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months
• say how your work could be done while you are away
• ask for his/her help in arranging it

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ................. ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter in regards to change my current employment rank into higher one. Actually, I have been working in your organisation as a sales manager for five of years and I now I would like to request you to change my rank and shift me into another department.

Recently, our company is selecting senior employees for training in abroad for six months, so I consider that being a senior member of your company, It would be a great favour for me if you provide me a chance to work in your main office, preferably in Australia. I believe that, It will be a great opportunity for me to polish my existing skills and upgrade my knowledge by working in another setting. Also, I believe that, working abroad will facilitate me for vast career opportunities which consequently, help me to get financially stable.

Additionally, I ensure you that, after getting experience, i will continue my services for your company. Furthermore, I will try to wind up my ongoing projects and my junior will handle all my work with full concentration. Besides this, I will be available online in case of any inconvenience.

It would be a great favour for me if you could arrange all my documents and verification certificates.

Thank you

Yours sincerely

John Ellen,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The letter fails to address the prompt accurately. The instructions ask you to write to your manager requesting a six-month transfer to the head office. However, your opening paragraph states you want to 'change my current employment rank into higher one' and 'shift me into another department.' This is a significant misunderstanding of the task requirements. While you do mention the six-month training abroad later, the primary purpose of your letter is confused. You cover the bullet points regarding how work will be handled and asking for help, but the initial confusion regarding the purpose of the letter significantly impacts the overall task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive feature. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'Furthermore', and 'Besides this' to link your ideas. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed due to the confusion in the introduction. The transition between the request for a promotion and the request for a temporary transfer is abrupt and confusing for the reader. While the paragraphing is present, the logical flow is hampered by the inconsistent purpose of the letter, which prevents a higher score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'organisation', 'facilitate', and 'inconvenience'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors. For example, 'change my current employment rank into higher one' is unnatural; 'promotion' would be more appropriate. Similarly, 'training in abroad' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'training abroad'. You also use 'wind up' in a professional context, which is slightly too informal. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey the general meaning, the lack of precision and occasional errors limit the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You have several persistent errors, such as 'five of years' (should be 'five years'), 'in regards to change' (should be 'regarding changing'), and 'It would be a great favour' (the use of 'favour' is slightly misused here; 'opportunity' or 'support' would be better). Punctuation is also problematic, with unnecessary commas appearing frequently, such as 'I believe that, It will be...'. These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text, though they do not completely impede communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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