Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

numerious of working individuals get few or no physical workout during the working day or in thier leisure time and have health issue as a consequence in this essay i will discuss reason and solution

In modern era there are many reason people do not get enough phycial work out first and foremost , moder or electronic gadget these day electronic gagdget such as smartphone or modern tv and video games is also majar reason to this problem for example , there are variours of game like football or GTA5 in which peaple can play game like real world and give same feeling like playing in real life .as a result , indivaldual aviod to do no exerice . In addition, lack of commmunication , theseday peaple do not prefer to talk with other peaple in socity do not jion each other in exerice compare to past era peaple do exerice with other socity member and motivate each other to do exercise

ON other side, there are several solution to this problem which are very effective can also help to solve problem .meanwhile , authority should organize competition in all citizes but also reward winners with good amount such as money or provide exercise machine . last but least ,provide facilites like as exerice area or other activities area to local peple to do physical activites while government should aware peaple benefits of doing exerice .for example , if parents are aware about benefits of doing exerice then kids will also motivate younger generation

as a result , there are several reason. why working peaple do not do exerice such , use of modern gadget and lack of communication but are many solution such as, competition or provideing facilities such as exercise machines

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions by identifying electronic entertainment and reduced social interaction as possible reasons, then suggesting competitions, exercise facilities and public awareness. These points are relevant, and the examples of games and parents influencing children help make the response more specific. However, the explanations are brief: the link between gaming and insufficient exercise is clearer than the point about communication, and the proposed solutions are mostly listed rather than explained in terms of how they would change working adults’ routines. The conclusion repeats the main points but does not add a clear, developed final position. To strengthen the response, explain each cause and solution more fully and connect them directly to the pressures or habits of working people.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions and a concluding summary. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of the answer. You also use signposts such as “first and foremost,” “in addition” and “on other side.” However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, and several linking phrases feel mechanical or do not clearly express the relationship between ideas. For example, the shift from electronic games to avoiding exercise is understandable, but the point about communication and exercising with others needs a clearer connection. Use topic sentences and organise each paragraph around one main idea, then explain it before moving to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “physical activities,” “competition,” “facilities” and “benefits,” and the examples of smartphones and video games show an attempt to be specific. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “exercise,” “people” and “problem.” Frequent spelling errors, such as “phycial,” “gagdget” and “facilites,” make the writing less clear and reduce the accuracy of your vocabulary. Some combinations are also unnatural, for example “do no exercise” and “provide exercise area.” Build a wider set of accurate topic phrases and check spelling and collocations carefully; this will make your ideas easier to understand and more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, using forms such as “if parents are aware … then kids will also motivate younger generation,” and you include both simple statements and examples. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and attempts at longer sentences often contain errors that make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For instance, “there are many reason people do not get enough” needs a clearer clause structure, while “authority should organize competition … but also reward winners” has problems with number and parallel construction. Articles, plurals, subject–verb agreement and punctuation are also inconsistent. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a supporting clause, then check agreement and sentence boundaries before adding more complexity.

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