Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, obesity has become a common problem among working class. They are so busy in their routine that they forget to focus on their health. As a result heart issues, breathing problems and knee replacements are so popular these days. There are a lot of reasons which prevent one from exercising daily and have been discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, busy life schedule has made human a robort. He is so much worried about his 9-5 that he left his passion of playing cricket behind. Along with this, changes in modes of entertainment have made him bed-ridden. These OTTs, video-games, social media, reduced one's physical activity. At last, mental awareness about being fit is found negligible amongst recent generation.

There are plenty of measures if taken properly can reduce this problem and prevent us from reaching an alarming situation. At first, every corporate office should be inculcated with a gym. This will allow working officials to prefer workouts after work. Seconly, organising a social awareness campaign regarding fitness should be launched worldwide. A classic example for this is the widespread launch of the International Yoga Day by the indian government in order to promote natural and traditional forms of exercise around the world. At last, making physical fitness an important element of education since elementary classes can help further to aid this situation.

Therefore, this is the perfect time to fix this problem otherwise the day is not far when humans would not be able to stand without the help of robots. As well as, the hospitals and the other medical facilities will be flooded with young people suffering from incogniable diseases.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both questions and maintain a clear focus on workplace inactivity and possible remedies. The causes include demanding work schedules, screen-based entertainment and limited awareness of fitness; your suggestions—workplace gyms, public campaigns and school-based fitness education—are relevant. The International Yoga Day example also gives one proposal some support. However, several points are asserted rather than explained: for instance, you do not show how long working hours specifically prevent exercise, or how a gym at work would fit into employees’ schedules. The conclusion warns of future health consequences but does not bring the proposed solutions together. This covers the task well overall, while fuller explanation and support for each main idea would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for causes and solutions, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “At first” and “Therefore” help readers follow the main stages. The ideas within each paragraph are generally relevant, but the repeated listing pattern makes the progression somewhat mechanical. “Along with this” and “At last” introduce points without showing their precise relationship to the preceding idea, and the final sentence beginning “As well as” is not smoothly connected to the conclusion. Some references, such as “this problem” and “this situation,” are broad. Use fewer formulaic transitions and connect each point through clearer cause-and-effect links; this would make the organisation feel more flexible and cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “physical activity,” “social awareness campaign,” “workouts” and “medical facilities.” There are also attempts at more vivid or less common language, such as “bed-ridden” and “alarming situation,” though some choices are inaccurate or unnatural. “Working class” does not clearly mean people who are employed, “popular” is unsuitable for health problems, and “incogniable diseases” is not an appropriate expression. Spelling errors such as “robort” and “Seconly,” along with inconsistent capitalisation of “Indian,” reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural collocations rather than dramatic wording, and check spelling and word forms carefully. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the conditional structure “if taken properly can reduce this problem” and the purpose clause “in order to promote…” The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “They are so busy in their routine that they forget” has an unclear singular/plural reference, while “he left his passion” shifts tense and subject reference. The sentence “There are plenty of measures if taken properly can reduce this problem” needs a clearer clause structure, and “As well as, the hospitals…” is an incomplete connection to the previous sentence. Review agreement, tense consistency, articles and sentence boundaries, especially when joining several ideas. More consistently controlled complex sentences would strengthen accuracy.

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