Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is undeniable that health problem has become an increasingly pressing issue in many parts of world. This essay will examine the main problems associated with health and propose some practical measures that could be taken to address them.

Firstly, There are several significant problems arising from people who are not exercise their free time. The most serious concern is that heart problem. This is largely because when people work whole weak and if they don't exercise even a little walk on free time which can lead to health problem. For example They busy all the day and at night they sleep and don't exercise. It's very harmful for their health. If you feel active and healthy you can work easily. Another major issue is if people don't exercise they feel lazy and they want to result. If this situation continues unchecked it could be heart problem and many other problems in their body. Thereby affecting health in the long term.

Secondly, nevertheless there are number of effective measures that could be implemented to tackle problems. One particularly effective solution would be for individual to exercise daily. As a result it maintain their health. In addition government should make more park and gym. If these measures were implemented effectively, they would significantly reduce health problem and contribute to exercise.

In conclusion, exercise gives rise to several serious problems, particularly heart and muscles problem. However these issues can be mitigated through exercise and walk. A coordinated effort from individual would therefore be essential to bring about a long term improvement in this area.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts both parts of the question and gives a relevant general direction: lack of exercise is linked to health problems, while daily activity and more parks or gyms are proposed as solutions. However, the reasons people do not exercise are not clearly explained. The example that people are busy, sleep at night, and do not exercise mostly repeats the situation rather than showing why work or free-time demands prevent activity. The solutions are also brief and not connected to specific barriers, and the conclusion inaccurately says that “exercise gives rise” to problems. To strengthen the response, explain causes such as long working hours, commuting, or fatigue, then show how workplace breaks or accessible facilities could address them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two main paragraphs, and a conclusion. Sequencing expressions such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the first body paragraph moves from heart problems to feeling lazy and then back to long-term health without developing a clear chain of reasoning. Some linking phrases are inaccurate or awkward, including “Thereby affecting health” as a fragment and “nevertheless” at the start of the solutions paragraph, where the contrast is not clearly established. Improve cohesion by grouping causes together, then solutions, and using clear references and transitions to show how each idea relates to the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the broad topic, with relevant terms such as “health,” “exercise,” “heart problem,” and “effective measures.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, including “pressing issue” and “mitigated.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning unclear. For example, “people who are not exercise their free time” and “they want to result” do not express the intended ideas naturally, while “health problem” is repeated frequently. Aim for precise phrases such as “people who do not exercise in their free time,” “they feel sluggish,” and “health problems,” and use vocabulary that directly explains barriers and practical interventions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses some simple sentences and attempts longer structures, including a conditional sentence: “If this situation continues unchecked it could be…” This shows an effort to vary sentence forms, and the overall message is usually understandable. However, errors are frequent, and some attempted structures are faulty. Examples include “health problem has become” (article and number agreement), “when people work whole weak and if they don't exercise” (an incomplete, poorly joined clause), and “As a result it maintain their health” (subject–verb agreement). Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, as in “Firstly, There” and “For example They.” Practise accurate basic clauses first, then build longer sentences with clear subjects, verbs, and punctuation.

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