Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some of the individuals are not doing exercise during their free time as well as during their working days. As a result, they face many health -related problems. This essay will discussing in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, first and the foremost, people have busy schedule. They do not get time to do exercise. Because they are more concerned about their work rather than health. Moreover, some people do work from home and they spend a lot of time in front of the computer. Due to this their screening time is increasing day by day. Which is also harmful for their body. As a result, they suffer with obesity and weak eyesight. They face many health issue such as liver problem, knees problem and many more.

on the other side , it is become a very serious problem in all over the world. So people should take many decisions to avoid them. Everyone should need to concentrate on their health. Because good health is play paramount role in everyone's life. So people should do normal walk in their daily routine. They should avoid junk food. They should eat healthy food like steamed vegetables, and make sure to their protein with every bite. For example, my uncle was suffering with obesity and then, I suggested to him about exercise. They start it and now they feel good and he lose his weight . So exercise is best for health.

to conclude, exercise and healthy food play crucial role in everyone lifes. but people have to understand it and make good habits. They should spend maximum time on their body as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the reasons provided (busy schedules, screen time) are common but lack depth or specific examples to illustrate the impact. The solutions offered, such as 'normal walk' and 'steamed vegetables', are practical but could be expanded upon with more sophisticated reasoning. While the task is addressed, the ideas are not fully extended, which limits the score. To improve, you should aim to provide more detailed explanations and perhaps consider broader societal or workplace-level solutions rather than just individual ones.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'To commence with, first and the foremost' are redundant and slightly unnatural. There are also issues with sentence-level cohesion, such as starting sentences with 'Because' or 'Which' in a way that creates fragments. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the transitions between sentences could be smoother and more varied to improve the flow of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'screening time' (instead of 'screen time'), 'make sure to their protein' (which is grammatically incomplete), and 'do normal walk'. The range is limited to basic, everyday language. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more precise terminology related to health and lifestyle, and ensure that words are used in their correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'good health is play paramount role'), incorrect verb forms ('This essay will discussing'), and punctuation errors. There are also several sentence fragments, such as 'Which is also harmful for their body.' While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and sentence completion is essential.

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