Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

I agree with this statement that seveeral working people get liitle exercise due to the working day and they have health issues. I completely agree with this statement because of many reasons which I will discuss it in the upcoming paragraphs.

The most compelling reason is tiredness. People often work several hours and then go home at night afterthat they take some rest. Working people are mostly use their mobile phone instead of doing some exercise. Also, they face many health issues for example eye sight weak, reduce thinking ability. Hence, it affects on their physical health.

In addition, every employees have lack of time. Also, they do not have enough space or time for excercise as they have to complete their work on time. For example make projects, presentations. If they do not complete task at time then sometimes they loose their job. As a result, people have no more time doing some leisure activities.

Moreover, in this modern age, people have number of responsibilities. Like their children, parents. So, they can not do any other free activity.

In conclusion, I believe that working people get no excercise during the working time or in free time because they have heavy burden about work, tiredness, and also they go duty on time. Given this situation, it is recommended that employers should gave some time that employees can focus on their health and do activities which are more useful to maintain our good health.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the points about 'tiredness' and 'lack of time' are mentioned in separate paragraphs but overlap significantly. The response also falls short of the 250-word minimum, which impacts the depth of the argument. While the position is clear, the supporting examples, such as 'make projects, presentations', are brief and lack the necessary elaboration to fully explore the topic. To improve, you should aim to expand on your points with more detailed explanations and ensure you meet the minimum word count requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'afterthat' is used incorrectly as a transition, and the phrase 'Hence, it affects on their physical health' contains a grammatical error that disrupts the flow. While there is a logical progression from the problem to the solution, the connections between sentences are sometimes weak. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') and ensure that referencing is clear throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You frequently use simple terms like 'get', 'do', and 'have'. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'seveeral', 'liitle', 'excercise', and 'loose' (instead of 'lose'). These errors, combined with limited word choice, prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, try to incorporate more precise vocabulary related to the workplace and health, and pay closer attention to the spelling of common words. Using synonyms will also help you avoid repeating the same phrases throughout the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'every employees have' (subject-verb agreement) and 'employers should gave' (incorrect verb tense). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and sentence fragments like 'Like their children, parents.' These frequent errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. Additionally, practice combining simple sentences into more complex ones using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

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