Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Health is wealth a proverb which indicates health must be a primary aspect of our lives .many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problem as result . lets discuss this in details .

Working people ,majorly focused on achieving their daily goals ,they stared their day with a schedule and forget to do exercise that is crucial to keep them healthy and emotionally strong .they have hectic working hours from 8amto 5pm . House wives, mothers ,elderly people, students facing stress ,anxiety while staying all time in home and structed to screen. Globally if we study the researches, we will come to know major disease like ,diabetes, high blood pressure, heart issue are caused by lack of exercise by individuals. For instance my father retired at his 60's ,thus he got some cardiac issues ,diabetes just because he skipped physicals exercise .So this problem escalate day by day as hospitals are crowded with patients. Despite of that some companies facilitate their employee by providing gym in their companies it must be promoted by local government as well.

on the other hand if local government take some steps to build gyms, parks, for individual's physical well being .

In the end I strongly believe that exercise and physical work is pivotal for health and well being of individuals .There must some steps and initiatives should be taken by companies ,governments to construct more gyms, parks for public .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention hectic schedules and sedentary lifestyles, the explanation lacks depth. The solutions provided, such as government-built gyms, are relevant but could be expanded with more specific examples or logical consequences. The inclusion of your father's experience is a good attempt at personal support, but the overall structure feels rushed, and the conclusion is a bit repetitive. To reach a higher band, ensure each main point is fully explored with clear reasoning and illustrative detail.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by inconsistent transitions. While you use some cohesive devices like 'on the other hand' and 'in the end', the connection between sentences is often mechanical or abrupt. For example, the transition between the discussion of working hours and the mention of housewives is disjointed. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks a clear progression of ideas. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed theme would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'hectic', 'pivotal', and 'sedentary' (implied), but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'structured to screen' instead of 'glued to screens' or 'facilitate their employee' instead of 'provide facilities for their employees'. Additionally, there are some spelling and punctuation errors that occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in grammar, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('major disease... are caused'), article usage, and sentence fragments ('House wives... structed to screen'). Punctuation is also problematic, with irregular spacing around commas and periods. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring proper verb tenses, and proofreading for punctuation and article errors.

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