Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Globally working individuals devote less time to exercise or no time to their fitness during the week, and this will lead to health issues. there are various reasons and to mitigate this problem what individual should do, will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with the reason, excess burden of work. To explain, working with the companies leaves the extra work to finish such as projects and presentation after the working hours and individual has to finish that after coming home this will left with no extra time for exercise. For example, The survey conducted By the World Health Organization (WHO) states that 90% of working full-time people are suffering from obesity due to less hours for their personal health. Thus, to mitigate this problem Companies should provide the facilities in the office hours for exercise such as small gym or a indoor play ground which will help to solve the problem.

Furthermore, the other reason behind this is increased competition at workplace. To elaborate, every employee is competition to each other, so to save there place and for the sake of promotion inside the company, every one works hard and work for extra time this will leave no time for exercise. For instance, headline of local newspaper in The New York states that more then 60out of 100 people work extra time for the promotion and being a on the top in ranking. As a result, companies should come upfront with the rule of equality so that every individual can spend some time towards physical fitness.

In conclusion, although rise in competition and extra work for the employees leave no time for exercise in their leisure time but, companies should have small gym and some incentives so that every individual can spend some time on their personal health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as the burden of work and workplace competition. However, the development is somewhat limited. The examples provided, such as the WHO survey and the New York newspaper headline, feel slightly generic and lack depth. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the 'why' and 'how' behind your arguments rather than just stating them. The position is clear throughout, but the overall development of ideas could be more detailed to fully satisfy the requirements of a Band 7.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use some cohesive devices like 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, but there are instances where the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the problem of competition and the proposed solution could be better linked to improve the overall progression of your argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different points.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'mitigate', 'physical fitness', and 'incentives'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'excess burden of work' (should be 'excessive workload') and 'every employee is competition to each other' (should be 'every employee is in competition with others'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. Expanding your range of collocations would help improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('a indoor play ground'), subject-verb agreement ('this will left with no extra time'), and punctuation. Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'every one works hard and work for extra time'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to keep the score in the 6.0 range. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be highly beneficial.

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