Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In modern society, people are very busy with there workaholic nature. They spend most of their time at work or indoor activities. Worker fails in making balance between physical health and work. There are many reason behind this concerning trend and i will discuss reason before making solutions for them

The primary reason is introduction of sophisticated technology, people engaged most of their time with phones. In other words, in leisure time individuals spend most of their time on social media and forget to do workout. They found scrolling on social media is best way to relax themselves which makes negative effect on the health. For example, in past years, people prefer to do play outdoor games but in modern era, people remains busy in playing online games.

Other important point is that people became very sensitive. In past years, people go to work by walk or cycles but now cars and bikes replace that. People find it difficult and time consuming to go anywhere by walk. Additionally, elevators took place of stairs in offices. After sitting long time in office make them tired and they don't have energy to go gym for exercises. Moreso, unhealth diet also played a significant roll for making them tired.

According to my opinion, heath awareness society needs to do campaign to make people aware about health issues caused by no exercises. For example, Apple sold there iwatches and set a goal of 20 kilometer walk everyday, if individuals completed this task for straight 90 days then Apple reimburse the cost of watch to buyer.

In conclusion, I consider this as a negative trend and this can cause serious health issues in citizens. In my opinion, health authorities needs to make people aware about the cause of doing no exercise.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as the impact of technology and sedentary office culture. However, the development is somewhat limited. The explanation of why people are 'sensitive' is unclear, and the solution regarding Apple watches is a specific example rather than a broader policy or societal recommendation. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the 'why' behind your points and provide more comprehensive solutions that address the root causes, such as workplace wellness programs or urban planning, rather than relying on a single commercial example.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a basic attempt at using cohesive devices like 'In other words,' 'Additionally,' and 'In conclusion.' However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally imprecise (e.g., 'this concerning trend'). The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the message to be conveyed clearly. There are some attempts at less common collocations, such as 'workaholic nature' and 'sophisticated technology.' However, there are several word-choice errors, such as 'unhealth diet' instead of 'unhealthy diet' and 'roll' instead of 'role.' Additionally, some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'people became very sensitive' when you likely meant 'sedentary.' Increasing your range of precise vocabulary and focusing on correct word forms will help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Worker fails,' 'elevators took place of stairs'), article usage ('do play outdoor games'), and pronoun errors ('there workaholic nature' instead of 'their'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma splices. To improve, you should proofread your work specifically for basic subject-verb agreement and ensure that complex sentences are constructed with accurate subordinate clauses.

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