Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, people are avoiding their health just because of hectic schedule of their work and suffering from some kind of health related issues. many of people who want to do exercise but not getting enough time for that . here i will discuss the both the cause of it and also providing how to tackle this issue in following paragraphs.

Certainly, there are numerous reasons behind working people are avoiding exercise and their health as well. The predominant one among of them is that they have extreme level workload regarding their job . To elaborate, people who are working in big companies they have some target works which need to complete in short time period.As result employees need to do over time work without taking break and in that case they also forgot about eating food as well. Another reason worth mentioning is that, In their free time they spend their time on internet and social sites instead of doing exercise or taking rest . As result they are suffering from obesity and some mental health issues like depression and all.

On the other hand , there are also few measure that can be taken to solve this issue. Firstly, Companies policy have to set some specific timezone for doing work instead of putting pressure on employees. As result , workers are getting enough time for themselves and they will easily manage their personal and professional life together. Secondly, In their free time they have to spend quality time with their family and also with themselves as well . For example on weekends they have to go outside with their family and also visit gym for being fit and fine . As result, on weekdays they feel more energetic for doing work as well as they took care about their health as well.

In conclusion, The major cause are hectic schedule of work, extra workload and spending time on screen .However, it can be tackled if steps are taken such as decreasing workload and time period as well as spending time with family and visiting gym in weekend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as workload pressure and the sedentary nature of screen time. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For example, the suggestion that companies should set 'specific timezone' for work is a bit vague and could be better explained. The position is clear throughout, but the supporting examples, such as 'go outside with their family', are a bit generic. To reach a higher band, the student should provide more detailed, specific examples or logical consequences to fully develop their arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. There is a logical progression from the causes to the solutions. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'As result' (which should be 'As a result'). Referencing is occasionally unclear, and some transitions between sentences feel abrupt. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal flow within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'hectic schedule' and 'predominant', which is positive. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'avoiding their health' (instead of 'neglecting their health') and 'target works' (instead of 'work targets'). Some phrases are also slightly unnatural, like 'being fit and fine'. The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but the lack of precision and occasional awkward phrasing limits the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the both the cause', 'the major cause are'), subject-verb agreement, and prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several instances of missing spaces after commas or periods. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency of the writing. To improve, the student should focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.