Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is a universally acknowledged that the problem of not doing physical activities escalating at an alarming rate in current scenario. This problem has depressing magnitude. Although plethora of reason are there, some sensible solutions are there to curb this grave concern.

Commencing with the problem which are responsible for the growth of it. Prominently, work pressure on every individual increases the persons to forget their relax time and take care of ours self, owing to this so many diseases like obesity is found in about 99% in youth presently. Taking America as an epitome, where in last 2 years shows number of obesities found in the employees due to not able to do any kind of physical acts. Another worth mentioning factor is Financial Problems. to reinforce further it, to fulfill every need for their daily basis, they do more than two jobs without taking break, later they start facing their health; therefore, these seems to be obvious factor behind this issue.

However, this problem is not insurmountable as number of solutions are in hand. Firstly, the severity of issue can be reduced by precautionary measures of government. In other words, state can aware the induvial about the deleterious effects of this and this can be done with the help of social media and by organizing awareness camps and seminars. what is more, the higher authorities should fund local community. so that they can events some outdoor completions with some rewards so every person can take part that helps to do some physical movements which leads that country future bright. Thus, just by taking these initiatives, this trend could be reversed.

Taking everything into consideration, it can be asserted that beyond, any doubt, this is a matter of concern which needs attentions, so unless the higher administration takes prevention measures to control these issues, this situation is definitely to go from bad to worst.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as work pressure and financial stress, and the solutions involving government awareness and community funding are logical. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The example regarding '99% of youth' in America is an over-generalization and lacks factual credibility, which weakens the argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that examples are more realistic and that the explanation of ideas is more thoroughly explored rather than just stated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central focus. There is a logical progression from the problem to the solution. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'to reinforce further it' or 'what is more'. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'this trend could be reversed' which follows a sentence about community events. Improving the variety and natural flow of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors. For example, 'depressing magnitude' is not a standard collocation, and 'events some outdoor completions' is grammatically incorrect. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary like 'epitome', 'insurmountable', and 'deleterious', which shows a desire to expand range, but the misuse of these terms occasionally hinders precision. Focusing on accurate collocations and word forms will help improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('this problem... are escalating'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing ('the persons to forget their relax time'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with sentence fragments and run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors is noticeable and prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. More attention to basic sentence construction and proofreading for grammatical accuracy is required.

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