Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The modern world is moving too fast. Initially, people used to have spare time from work and routine to spare on themselves. However in the 21st century as the technology emerged, the schedule is never ending. As a result of this, the quality of life is compromised and the highest stake was of none other than the deteriorating health of people.

Though it can be said that the humans are working twice as hard as they used to work. Even if the technology has been emerged, still we barely have time to focus on ourself. For instance, imagine a couple living in a metropolitan city. The life may look perfect from the perspective of an outsider. Great pacakge, education, staff, food etc. and still they might be dealing with excessive work loads, critical deadlines and exhausting work-life. This is not the story of just few people instead it is the story of every third person fighting for their survival. It is too difficult to spare time for exercise and hence, health problems are inevitable to a great extent.

Although, the consequences of the poor lifestyle are never ending, the solution could be provided in the loophole itself. The delay and destruction caused by work-life can be balanced by the same root cause. For example, if the employer start conduting a mandatory exercise routine at the beginning of the each shift wihout fail it can be a fruitfull result. The employers must make a resolution for their employees to stay physically and emotionally healthy.

Furthermore, there can be extensive therapy sessions provided in the employer insurance itself to provide a healing process caused by imbalanced approach. Harmony should be created in every sector of a human's life in order to progress towards a balanced lifestyle.

In conclusion I would like to mention that the health should be the utmost priority in every person's life and it should be monitored and maintained thoroughly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: why people lack exercise and what can be done. You provide relevant reasons, such as excessive workloads and critical deadlines, and suggest practical solutions like mandatory workplace exercise and insurance-covered therapy. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the suggestion of 'mandatory exercise' could be expanded by discussing potential challenges or benefits in more detail to reach a higher band. The position is clear throughout, but the essay would benefit from more specific, concrete examples rather than general statements about 'every third person'. Overall, you have covered all parts of the task well.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'However', 'For instance', and 'Furthermore', to link your ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by slightly awkward phrasing, such as 'the solution could be provided in the loophole itself'. Additionally, some transitions between sentences feel a bit mechanical. To improve, ensure that your cohesive devices are used to create a smoother, more natural progression of thought between sentences and paragraphs. The paragraphing is appropriate and contributes to the overall clarity of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'deteriorating', 'inevitable', and 'metropolitan'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices or minor errors, such as 'the highest stake was of none other than' and 'pacakge' (spelling error). You attempt to use less common vocabulary, which is good, but some collocations are slightly off, such as 'the solution could be provided in the loophole itself'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure your spelling is accurate throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'Even if the technology has been emerged' (incorrect passive voice), 'if the employer start conduting' (subject-verb agreement), and 'the health should be the utmost priority' (unnecessary article). These errors do not impede communication, but they are noticeable. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and verb tenses. Increasing the variety of error-free complex sentences will help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.

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