Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Health problems have become a significant issue in many countries particularly in Asian nations because many people lead sedentary lifestyles and do not engage in regular physical exercise. This essay will discuss the main causes of this problem and suggest possible solutions.

One major cause of this problem is long working hours. This is because nowadays people work extended hours to maintain a better standard of living even they prefer to work overtime. As a result they do not take care of themselves and developing long term medical conditions. For example, mostly computer users have postural pain syndrome and obesity due to prolonged sitting because they do not engage in regular physical activity and do not maintain proper sitting posture and body mechanics. Therefore, they are unable to do their work efficiently in long term.

To address this issue, government should allocate some budget on fitness training centers which people easily afford and focus on their physical fitness. Furthermore, companies encourage their employers to participate in sports and give them gym facility in their department which they can use in their break time to prevent weight gain due to prolong sitting. Furthermore, organizations should design their workplace according to person comfort to prevent long term heath conditions.

In conclusion, although medical conditions is caused by less physical activity, it can be addressed by giving them opportunity to stay theirselves active by joi.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, identifying causes (long working hours) and solutions (government funding and workplace initiatives). However, the response is significantly under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of the arguments. The conclusion is incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence, which prevents a full development of the final thought. While the ideas are relevant, they are not fully extended or supported due to the brevity. To reach a higher band, you must ensure you meet the word count requirement and provide a complete, well-structured conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive, with 'furthermore' used twice in quick succession. The progression of ideas is logical, but the abrupt ending of the conclusion significantly disrupts the coherence of the final paragraph. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, finished structure. The transition between the problem and the solution is clear, but the overall flow is hindered by the incomplete nature of the final sentence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'sedentary lifestyles', 'postural pain syndrome', and 'prolonged sitting'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'allocate some budget on' (should be 'to') and 'stay theirselves active' (should be 'stay active'). The vocabulary is generally sufficient to convey your meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Expanding your range of collocations and ensuring correct usage of prepositions will help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'mostly computer users have' (should be 'many computer users'), 'developing long term medical conditions' (should be 'develop'), and 'government should' (should be 'the government'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with missing commas after introductory phrases. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the clarity of your writing. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage will significantly enhance the accuracy of your sentences.

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