Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The health has utmost importance in individual life. If anyone has money but not fit enough to do various tasks, is no less than a curse. It is stipulated that working people spent a lot of time in doing office work, and they ended up living a sadentary life style which has adverse effect on their overall health. Some of them suffer with some life threatening diseases like, obesity, diabetes, high cholestrol and mental stress.

To start with, in contemporary times, people are now working more than 9 hours per day due to skyrocketing prices of products. For achieving affordibility, they work for longer hours to fulfill requirements of themselves and their families. Not only that, divorce rate is also increasing, in the result of that, people are trying to kept themselves busy as they have no one to share their precious time with. For example, some developing country like India has high divorce rate due to hasband's unavaialbility in times of utmost need, according to the data of the year 2022.

To alleviate this problem, government should reduce working hours to 5 days rathar than 6 days so people can spent their time with their loved one. Also government should build public gym which are free of charge so workaholic people can enjoy it. Goverment should do public awareness programs regarding to the health and fitness which demonstrate benefits of having fit and healthy body. Also, they should let influencer people to inspire local people, for instance, a famous cricketer like M S Dhoni, so common people instill information in brain more significantly, as many times people imitate their favorite celebrities.

In conclusion, having a bad unfit body can create adverse effect in individual's life. Unhealthy body attracts different severe disesases, in worse cases including heart attack. If one individual not paying enough attention in being fit then that person will pay price by reducing life expectancy. Working for family and for own is always wise but it should not take a toll on individual's health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as long working hours and the role of government initiatives. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The point regarding divorce rates feels tangential and is not clearly linked to the lack of exercise, making the argument less cohesive. While the solutions are practical, they could be expanded with more specific detail to reach a higher band. The position is clear throughout, but the supporting examples, particularly the reference to India, lack sufficient depth to fully convince the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To start with', 'For example', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'in the result of that'. Additionally, the flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors, which makes the progression of ideas feel slightly disjointed at times. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the overall structure would benefit from more sophisticated linking words to improve the flow between the problem and the proposed solutions.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'sedentary', 'stipulated', and 'alleviate'. However, there are several spelling errors ('sadentary', 'cholestrol', 'hasband', 'unavaialbility', 'rathar', 'disesases') and some awkward collocations ('influencer people', 'instill information in brain'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do prevent the response from reaching a higher band. A more precise use of terminology and improved spelling accuracy would significantly enhance the lexical quality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the student attempts complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, such as 'The health has utmost importance', 'people are trying to kept themselves busy', and 'If one individual not paying enough attention'. Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While these errors rarely impede communication, they are frequent enough to limit the score. To improve, the student should focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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