Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Working officials should also work out in order to avoid any health issues, which they completely ignore due to laziness. This problem is increasing rapidly and needs to be looked into, and I will be sharing some solutions to overcome it.

Firstly, the overload of work at the office is one of the main reasons for not working out or doing exercise. An employee who is burdened with excessive work feels fatigued when he/she reaches home. This leads to laziness and pushes them to just rest and sleep rather than doing exercise. This could be overcome by balancing professional and personal life and making a strict schedule so that they do not work after their working hours. Companies should also make policies for the benefit of their employees.

Secondly, excessive use of mobile devices or television is another reason for young professionals to avoid exercise. When we spend time watching entertainment, dopamine in our mind is released, which makes us watch more as we feel satisfied and relaxed; however, it only weakens our mind and makes us more tired, thus leading to cardiovascular problems and obesity. To overcome this, we need to reduce the screen time on our devices and utilise that time to do either yoga, meditation or physical exercise. It will not only keep us physically fit but will also make us mentally strong. Additionally, once a week we should take out time to either play any sport or go trekking or hiking.

To conclude, I believe that if we maintain a work-life balance and reduce our screen time on electronic devices and instead use that time to exercise and go out to play any sport, we can reduce health problems and be fit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as work-related fatigue and the impact of screen time. However, the development is somewhat limited. For instance, the suggestion that companies should make policies is mentioned but not explained in detail. Similarly, the link between dopamine and cardiovascular problems is a bit simplistic. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your examples with more specific details or hypothetical scenarios to fully develop your arguments. The position is clear throughout, and the response remains focused on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'however', and 'To conclude' are used to guide the reader. However, the transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing screen time to the suggestion of trekking feels slightly abrupt. The use of referencing is generally clear, though some sentences could be linked more effectively to improve the flow of the argument. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and supports the progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fatigued', 'cardiovascular', and 'meditation'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'Working officials' (which is not a standard collocation; 'professionals' or 'employees' would be better) and 'overload of work' (a bit informal; 'excessive workload' is more precise). While you attempt to use some less common vocabulary, the overall range is sufficient but not particularly sophisticated. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing like 'do exercise' or 'do yoga'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'dopamine in our mind is released' (which is slightly awkward phrasing) and 'play any sport' (which should be 'play a sport'). Punctuation is generally correct, and the errors present do not impede communication. You show an ability to construct complex sentences, but the control over these structures is not yet consistent. Increasing the variety of complex structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help elevate your score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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