Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The discussion of importance of exercise and basic workout is surely one that begs the question on overall health of working people. In my opinion, due to this people are contributing less time to remain fit and active.

One clear fact is that, these days working people exhaust themselves into work for the whole day and get no time for them. They keep on trying to complete the never ending targets. People are actually forgetting the real meaning of life and burying them in works' stress. This fast pacing World is taking all the fun and passion out of our lives. I truly believes this quote "Great Solutions came from Great Minds" that is followed by good health.

These days, working people are chasing the promotions and good bonuses which is leading them to no where. I believe these desires are letting them mundane and late back towards their health.

There are a plethora of solutions to improve working peoples' health. Firstly, Organizations should emphasize on the employees health and should fix the working hours, with this employees will save some time for themselves. For instance, country like Japan has fixed working hours and beyond those hours, nobody is allowed to work. In addition, companies should engage employees in intercultural activities and promoting them to participate in marathons. Companies like Google, motivates its' employees to come via bicycles which is not only helping them to be active but also contributing towards environment.

Admittedly, critics may ague that one is solely responsible for their own health. However, this perspective is true is many ways because will came from within. Consequently, with the will and the company's support, people can actually work on their health and work better.

In conclusion, I would say every one deserves time for themselves that includes working people as well. They should get time to work on their physical and mental health to stay fit and work with more energy which is beneficial for company too.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The explanation of why people do not exercise is a bit repetitive, focusing heavily on 'work stress' without exploring other factors like sedentary lifestyles or lack of motivation. The solutions provided are relevant, such as fixed working hours and corporate wellness initiatives, and are supported by examples like Japan and Google. To reach a higher band, the student should provide more depth in the analysis of the causes rather than relying on general statements about 'fast-paced worlds'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Consequently', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. For example, the sentence 'I truly believes this quote...' feels disconnected from the surrounding text. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'due to this people are contributing less time', where the antecedent for 'this' is vague. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, but the flow between sentences could be more natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'plethora', 'intercultural', and 'sedentary' (though 'sedentary' was not used, the student attempted 'mundane'). There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'burying them in works' stress' (should be 'work stress') and 'late back towards their health' (which is unclear). Some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'exhaust themselves into work'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('I truly believes', 'will came from within'), punctuation errors ('its' employees'), and awkward phrasing ('this perspective is true is many ways'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not generally impede communication. The student attempts complex structures, but control is inconsistent. To improve, the student should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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