Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The discussion of the importance of exercise and basic workout is surely one that begs the question on the overall health of working people. In my opinion, due to this people are contributing less time to remain fit and active.

One clear fact is that, these days working people exhaust themselves with work for the whole day and get no time for themselves. They keep on trying to complete the never-ending targets. People are actually forgetting the real meaning of life and burying themselves in works' stress. This fast pacing World is taking all the fun and passion out of our lives. I truly believes this quote "Great Solutions come from Great Minds" that is followed by good health.

These days, working people are chasing the promotions and good bonuses which are leading them to nowhere. I believe these desires are making them mundane and laid-back towards their health.

There are a plethora of solutions to improve working people health. Firstly, Organizations should emphasize on the employees' health and should fix the working hours, with this employees will save some time for themselves. For instance, a country like Japan has fixed working hours and beyond those hours, nobody is allowed to work. In addition, companies should engage employees in intercultural activities and promote them to participate in marathons. Companies like Google, motivate its employees to come via bicycles which is not only helping them to be active but also contributing towards environment.

Admittedly, critics may argue that one is solely responsible for their own health. However, this perspective is true in many ways because willpower came from within. Consequently, with the will and the company's support, people can actually work on their health and work better.

In conclusion, I would say everyone deserves time for themselves that includes working people as well. They should get time to work on their physical and mental health to stay fit and work with more energy which is beneficial for the company too.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The position is clear throughout. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of long working hours and corporate responsibility. However, some points could be developed further; for instance, the explanation of why people are 'chasing promotions' is a bit brief. The inclusion of examples like Japan and Google adds depth and supports the arguments well. Overall, the response covers all requirements of the task, though the depth of analysis is more consistent with a Band 6.5 or 7.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the reasons from the solutions. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Admittedly', and 'Consequently' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing in the second paragraph ('due to this people') is a bit vague, as it does not clearly link back to a specific antecedent. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task. You use some good collocations like 'never-ending targets' and 'intercultural activities'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and phrasing, such as 'begs the question on the overall health' (which is not the correct idiomatic use of 'begs the question') and 'fix the working hours' (which is slightly unnatural; 'regulate' or 'limit' would be better). There are also minor errors like 'working people health' (should be 'working people's health'). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning, but lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'I truly believes' (subject-verb agreement), 'willpower came from within' (tense inconsistency), and 'with this employees will save' (punctuation/structure). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. You have attempted complex structures, but the control is not consistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your verb tenses remain consistent within paragraphs. The punctuation is generally functional, though some sentences would benefit from more careful construction to avoid run-on effects.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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