Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The discussion of the importance of exercise and basic workout is surely one that begs the question on the overall health of working people. In my opinion, due to this people are contributing less time to remain fit and active.

One clear fact is that, these days working people exhaust themselves with work for the whole day and get no time for themselves. They keep on trying to complete the never-ending targets. People are actually forgetting the real meaning of life and burying themselves in works' stress. This fast paced World is taking all the fun and passion out of our lives. I truly believe this quote "Great Solutions come from Great Minds" that is followed by good health.

These days, working people are chasing promotions and good bonuses which are leading them to nowhere. I believe these desires are making them mundane and laid-back towards their health.

There are a plethora of solutions to improve working people health. Firstly, Organizations should emphasize on the employees' health and should fix the working hours, with this employees will save some time for themselves. For instance, a country like Japan has fixed working hours and beyond those hours, nobody is allowed to work. In addition, companies should engage employees in intercultural activities and promote them to participate in marathons. Companies like Google, motivate its employees to come via bicycles which is not only helping them to be active but also contributing towards environment.

Admittedly, critics may argue that one is solely responsible for their own health. However, this perspective is true in many ways because willpower comes from within. Consequently, with the will and the company's support, people can actually work on their health and work better.

In conclusion, I would say everyone deserves time for themselves that includes working people as well. They should get time to work on their physical and mental health to stay fit and work with more energy which is beneficial for the company too.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The explanation for why people do not exercise relies on generalisations about 'chasing promotions' and 'never-ending targets' without deeper analysis. The solutions provided, such as fixed working hours and corporate initiatives, are relevant and well-supported by examples like Japan and Google. To reach a higher band, the student should provide more nuanced reasoning regarding the psychological or structural barriers to exercise, rather than relying on broad statements about modern life.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the causes from the solutions. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Consequently' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the discussion of corporate responsibility and the counter-argument about personal willpower is a bit abrupt. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, and the essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use less common items like 'plethora', 'mundane', and 'intercultural', which shows a good range. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'burying themselves in works' stress' (should be 'work stress') and 'fix the working hours' (should be 'regulate working hours'). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. More precise academic vocabulary would enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several error-free sentences, which is positive. However, there are persistent grammatical errors, particularly with articles and pluralisation, such as 'improve working people health' (should be 'improve working people's health') and 'a country like Japan has fixed working hours' (which is grammatically fine, but the subsequent 'with this employees will save' is a run-on/comma splice). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor issues with comma usage. The grammar is sufficient to communicate meaning clearly, but more consistent control over complex structures is needed for a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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