Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It has been universally accepted that problem of less physical activities due to busy time frame is esclating at alarming rate. The problem is bringing a state of depression among the masses and in environment too. There is plethora of reasons of same and its possible solution can be suggested too, which are disccued as follows.

In regards to the problem, the main reason which can be stated is people are in general more concerned and focued towards career and work goal, they tend to work extra hours just to get more money and rewards so that , their dreams can be fullfilled, like buying house , child's education and much more. As a result, workers focued more to work-like and less concerned about physical well-being. Hope for better promotion and longer commuting time can be one of the reasons .Another problematic cause is sedantary life, as majority of jobs are based on computers which make life more boring and sedantary.In suppoort to this reason, we as people are more relied on computers and technology now as compared to past, workers tends to spend less time for physical activities and walking, and family ties is another nail in the coffin.

Seeing this problem with brighter mind, many solutions can be helpful to curb thhis menace. One is the solution is job and office site should be equipped with gym and separated physical activity room, so that workers can spend litle time for their physical activities as well. which means employer should encourge physical activity by organising sports events. Providing flexible work hours which is my second solution can be good solution , working remotely can be also a solution to curb this problem. Lastly, government can also play important role in this by making proper parks, play grounds and sports events at local level.

To conclude, solving global issue is not easy but with the joint efforts of public, empoyer and government, a contro can be taken over the problem.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as career pressure and sedentary office environments, and the solutions provided—workplace facilities, flexible hours, and government infrastructure—are logical. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For example, the link between 'family ties' and exercise is mentioned but not explained, and the argument about 'depression' in the introduction is not revisited. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your examples with more specific detail or logical explanation rather than listing multiple points briefly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'In regards to the problem' and 'To conclude'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Seeing this problem with brighter mind'. Additionally, there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as 'the same' or 'this menace', which makes the flow feel a bit disjointed. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words would significantly enhance the logical flow of your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, including terms like 'sedentary', 'curb this menace', and 'universally accepted'. However, there are several spelling errors ('esclating', 'focued', 'disccued', 'sedantary', 'suppoort', 'thhis', 'empoyer') and some awkward collocations ('bringing a state of depression among the masses and in environment too'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a wider range of precise, academic vocabulary to move beyond a band 6 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'the main reason which can be stated is people are in general more concerned' (missing 'that') and 'One is the solution is job and office site should be equipped'. There are also frequent punctuation and article errors throughout the text. While these errors rarely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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