Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the tides of modernizations have brought a dramatic departure from conventional lifestyles. However, in this day age age, a significant proportion of working individuals avoid exercise even in their leisure time, consequently face health issues. This essay will examine the primary factors contributing to this problem before pursuing practical measures to mitigate this.

To commence with, one of the most persuasive argument behind this phenomenon is the hectic lifestyle of people. To be more precise, several people prefer to work not only longer hours but also maximum days in a week in order to meet their materialistic needs. For example, those who work on minimum wage, often try to work extra time to earn more money. As a result, they choose to relax and stay at in their free time rather then utilizing free time on other physical activities.

Furthermore, another compelling reason behind this problem is invasion of technology . In other words, people like to spend their free time to use their mobile phones or laptop. Consequently, they choose to waste their free scrolling reals and videos on social media instead of priorities their health.

Nevertheless, this problem needs to be addresses from variety of angles simultaneously, most importantly, people had better have a fixed work schedule so that they can make balance in their work and personal life. Therefore having more free time enable them to encourage to utilize for their health. Another practical measure is to limit unnecessary screen time. They should self motivate to go grounds or gym for better health.

From what has been, it can be concluded that this issue has turned into a pressing concern, making it resistant to short term measures alone. Therefore, aforementioned remedies must be implemented promptly to alleviate

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as long working hours and the influence of technology. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the suggestion to 'limit unnecessary screen time' is mentioned but not explained in terms of how it would practically lead to more exercise. The conclusion is incomplete, as it cuts off mid-sentence, which impacts the overall task completion. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with specific examples or logical consequences, and always complete your final paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'Nevertheless' to link your points. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is disrupted by grammatical errors or awkward phrasing, such as 'In the tides of modernizations have brought'. The referencing is generally clear, but the abrupt ending of the essay significantly affects the overall coherence of the final section.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'materialistic needs', 'compelling reason', and 'alleviate'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'stay at in their free time', 'priorities their health' (should be 'prioritize'), and 'scrolling reals' (should be 'reels'). There are also some repetitive errors, such as the phrase 'in this day age age'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, the errors occasionally draw attention to the language rather than the ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'In the tides of modernizations have brought' (incorrect subject-verb structure), 'one of the most persuasive argument' (should be 'arguments'), and 'people had better have a fixed work schedule' (a bit informal). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent verb forms.

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