Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the contemporary era, a growing segment of the population is not exercising in weekdays or in a leisure time and consequently, that approach lead to severe health issues. The major causes behind it are busy life schedule and running behind materialistic life. However, it can be resolved by imposing strict rules on employers and awareness of simple life with basic necessity.

The multi-billion dollars corporations entice their employees by rewards in the form of bonuses or lucrative gifts and result of that, employees which are young and major population of countries will work extra hours on a daily basis and lose their precious time of exercise. Furthermore, desire of extra earning lead to buy expensive items such as luxury cars, bikes and watches. Therefore, they dwell in a vicious circle of buying these items and working overtime. A notable article was published by the renowned magazine of India that obesity level has been increased in the last decade due to majority of younger generation stuck in the exhausting hours at workplace.

These issues can be tackled by introducing employment policy for the workforce that an employee cannot work more than forty five hours per week. Due to this rule, individuals are able to spare time for the physical activities and for their personal interests. Additionally, state authority should run informative campaigns or advertisement by influencers who were followed by citizens on comparison of luxury life and simple life with explaining benefits of it. As a result, individuals understand importance of physical health by not spending valuable time in the office. An empirical evidence presented from the survey result that ad campaign imprinted advantages of simple lifestyle on the citizens of tier two cities that many luxury brand store's sale plunged about sixty percent in a year.

In conclusion, although physical health neglected due to reasons of small chunk of bonuses and rewards provided by corporations and desire of living extravagant lifestyle, by workforce rules and awareness advertisements are support to overcome these problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as the impact of corporate culture and the desire for material wealth. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the link between 'materialistic life' and exercise is mentioned but could be explored with more depth regarding the psychological or physical toll. The position is clear throughout, and the response maintains a consistent focus on the topic, meeting the requirements for a Band 6.5 or 7.0, though it leans towards 6.5 due to the slightly generic nature of the supporting arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Furthermore', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. Referencing is generally clear, although there are minor issues with article usage and pluralization that occasionally disrupt the flow. Overall, the structure is coherent and the paragraphing is appropriate for the task.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common items like 'entice', 'vicious circle', and 'plunged', which show a good range. However, there are some inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'running behind materialistic life' (instead of 'pursuing a materialistic lifestyle') and 'small chunk of bonuses'. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the' missing before 'obesity level', 'the' missing before 'importance'), subject-verb agreement ('that approach lead to'), and prepositional usage. Complex structures are attempted, but they often contain minor errors that affect the precision of the writing. The punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of grammatical slips keeps this in the Band 6 range.

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