Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary times, people have become extreme workaholic. They choose to work constantly to fulfill the basic requirements of their families regarding the food, shelters and clothings. In result of that, they end up with the sedentary lifestyle which is home of the many serious illness. Constant hours of working with little or no bodily movement is very dangerous and lead to the many health problems. To alleviate this problems one idividual should maintain strict routine which contains all healthy activities like various body stretching exercises, body trainings and diet plans.

To start with, working more than sixty hours per week is a bad for human body, even people do so, they must well balanced the healthy life style routines with their daily work life. For example, according to the study conducted by the United States in year 2022, people who excercised regularly while doing their jobs have less cardiovascular diseases compared to their counterparts. They found out some serious illness like, problems with arteries, blood pressure, diabetes, insomnia are less likely affected them.

Governments of the all around world should enlighten their local working citizens regarding the advantages of having a healthy body and significance of having enough exercise. For instance, some awareness campaigns for excercises and benefits of wellness of body and mind by the company Himalaya in India have aid to many local people to changed their diets and switch to the healthy food items which have high nutritional values, less fat, more fibours, and have quick energy spike. Not only that, the company also helped some overweight workaholic people to reduced their unhealthy weight by performing easy exercises in their day to day life.

Additionally, every working person must have their fixed schedule which they follow strictly which contains exercises and diet plan. They can pay the nutritionalist to make for them. It seems a small effort but it has power to change their overall physical as well as mental health as exercises release dopomine in the brain which aid in clamness of mind and deep sleep which is crucial for healthy body.

In conclusion, workaholic people must understand about utmost importance of healthy body. The amount of money they are making by compromising their health will take them nowhere, they are taking high amount of risk in terms of their life expectancy. They must stay alive to enjoy their earnigs, they cannot be happy by knowing that they require to have a healthy body to spend their money in enjoyable way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as the pressure to work long hours and the role of government awareness campaigns. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While the second paragraph provides a clear reason, the solutions in the third and fourth paragraphs are a bit repetitive, focusing heavily on individual responsibility and diet. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that each point is fully extended with more specific, logical consequences or broader societal implications rather than just listing activities.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices like 'To start with', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'In result of that' or 'To alleviate this problems'. Additionally, some transitions between sentences within paragraphs are abrupt. Improving the flow between ideas by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'they', 'this') is always clear would strengthen the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'sedentary lifestyle', 'cardiovascular diseases', and 'nutritional values'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'extreme workaholic' (should be 'extremely workaholic' or 'workaholics'), 'aid to many local people to changed' (should be 'helped many local people change'), and 'fibours' (spelling error for 'fibrous'). While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the precision of your writing. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise academic collocations would improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('one idividual should maintain', 'exercises release dopomine'), article usage ('the sedentary lifestyle', 'the United States'), and verb forms ('to reduced their unhealthy weight'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor issues with comma usage. To improve, focus on ensuring that your complex structures are grammatically sound and pay closer attention to basic subject-verb and tense consistency throughout the text.

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