Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.
Why do many working people not get enough exercise?
What can be done about this problem?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In this contemporary era, the importance of exercise has played a vital role in someone's life. However, experts state that exercise has not been done by many of individuals owing to hectic lifestyle. The reasons why people can not able to do exercise in day to day life will be elucidated in the ensuing paragraphs alongside measurable solutions to cope with it.
To commence, the first and foremost cause is lack of time in their busy life. In other terms, people have seen working long hours to fulfil their dreams in this inflation period. Which ends up their day with tired body and higher stress level in mind. Consequently, they are unable to focus to do yoga or meditation in routine life. Furthermore, fortunately if they find the leisure time then it would be rather prefered to invest in shopping, dinner with family, and outing. For example, children are more observed to play with friends in parks than doing exercise and adults also visit shopping malls, cinemas or clubs on their relaxation time.
On the other hand, there are number of feasible measures to foster human beings to allocate time for exercise. Firstly, promote the Yoga day at international level to make everyone knows that exercise is as prominent as wherewithal by running campings. For instance, Indian prime minister declared to celebrate a june 5th as an Yoga day globally. As a result, number of yoga classes have been proliferating significantly. Secondly, one can be seen the fruitful benefits by doing yoga. To illustrate, cancer,there is no remedy or medicine has been invented to cure this ailment but daily exercise can mitigate it at certain level. Last but not least, meditation aids children to concentrate effortlessly to their education hence they should be motivated by their parents.
In conclusion, even though there could be least time remain to do exercise due to work-life balance one has to make aware through campings about the importance of exercise.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as the impact of long working hours and the role of government-led initiatives like International Yoga Day. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. For instance, the argument regarding the health benefits of exercise for cancer is scientifically imprecise and lacks a clear logical link to the 'solutions' part of the prompt. While the position is clear, some points are over-generalized, and the conclusion is a bit repetitive rather than summarizing the main arguments effectively. Overall, the response covers the requirements but lacks depth in the supporting evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'In other terms' or 'Which ends up their day'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main parts of the prompt, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be more cohesive to improve the overall progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'elucidated', 'proliferating', and 'mitigate'. However, there are instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'wherewithal' (used incorrectly to mean 'necessity'), 'running campings' (likely meaning 'campaigns'), and 'make everyone knows'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do highlight a lack of precision. The range is sufficient to discuss the topic, but more natural collocations would elevate the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'exercise has not been done by many of individuals', 'people can not able to', and 'one can be seen the fruitful benefits'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage and sentence fragments like 'Which ends up their day...'. While the meaning remains clear, the frequency of these errors is noticeable and prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. A greater focus on subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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