Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The fact that people are avoiding exercise and prioritizing their work over health and not efficiently using their free time will lead to disastrous problems in the future.

Working people especially the one in the corporate sector work more than their body allows sometimes exceeding 12 hours in a day which leads to exhaustion and fatigue which leads them to skip exercise. Also, a lot of big corporations exploit their employees by giving them tasks that need to be achieved in an unrealistic timeline for which working needs to sacrifice their sleep and health to complete the job assigned. Moreover, a lot of people work 2 hours away from where they reside which leads to excessive amount of time consumed in transportation only. For example, a recent study showed that a person working in corporate law firm in New York City works 12 hours a day and on average commute 2 hours everyday and on average sleeps for around 5-6 hours. All these reasons contribute to working people skipping exercise.

Various measures are needed to solve this huge problem. For example, government should introduce measures where a person working cannot work more than 9 hours in a day or 40 hours in a week. Corporations should set more realistic goals for employees to achieve so they have more free time with themselves and should defer from assigning jobs after they are clocked out for the day. Corporations should install small gymnasium or squash court which employees can use after hours which can encourage employees to exercise, employees should also consider living with a radius of 4-5 km of their work to save time on their commute.

In conclusion, I believe all these reasons that contribute to above problem have their solutions but people, government and corporations should coordinate together.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant and logically developed. For instance, you provide specific examples like the corporate law firm scenario to illustrate the time constraints. However, the development could be more nuanced; for example, the suggestion to live within 4-5 km of work is a practical solution, but it overlooks the economic reality that many employees cannot afford to live near expensive city centers. To reach a higher band, ensure that your solutions are balanced against real-world constraints, and provide a slightly more comprehensive exploration of the 'why' beyond just long working hours, such as the psychological impact of sedentary work.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Moreover', 'For example', and 'In conclusion', to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the discussion of transportation and the example of the law firm could be more integrated. Additionally, the use of referencing is sometimes repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'corporations' and 'working people' at the start of sentences. Improving the variety of cohesive devices would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'corporate sector', 'exhaustion', 'fatigue', and 'unrealistic timeline'. The meaning is consistently clear, and you attempt to use topic-specific language. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'defer from assigning jobs' (should be 'refrain from') and 'install small gymnasium' (should be 'gymnasiums' or 'a gym'). To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repeating the same phrases, such as 'working people', throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For instance, 'the one in the corporate sector' should be 'those in the corporate sector', and 'on average commute 2 hours' lacks a subject or needs to be part of a larger clause. There are also some punctuation issues, such as run-on sentences where commas are used instead of periods or conjunctions. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher band score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and sentence boundary punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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