Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this recent decades, most of people are unable to do enough exercise during the duty time or off duty time and it's cause severe health issues . I will discuss this matter in next paragraph.

Firstly, i would like to explain what are the reasons behind it. Most people are working overtime due to less staff and high target which they need to achieve end of the month. Despite workers get good salary, It's very inconvenience for them and they would be exhausted end of the day for covering double shifts. There for no time to do exercise due to burnout and direct will go to bed . It may occurs serious health issues like heart problem, high blood sugar, high blood pressure and eventually ended up with depression.

Secondary, the employers are not providing necessary time or equipment for the advance to. They would be consider only the targets and profits end of the month rather than considering of employees health.

As example, some companies are not providing sick leave pay who they are call in due to sick and instead of that they will deduct their salary.

Moving forward, as a government should introduce some rules and regulation about Gym in the work place and free time for the exercise while on duty with pay. this would be crucial decision for the whole county and reduce cost of the health budget in future.

In conclusion, even though the workers will get more salary, but the workers are getting huge work load and unnecessary pressure cause serious health issues and it may affect not only in person as a whole country. While on duty time , at least 30 minutes break would be really helpful to prevent this disaster in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention long working hours and employer indifference as reasons, these points could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis. The solutions proposed, such as government regulation and workplace breaks, are relevant but remain brief. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with clear, logical explanations rather than just stating the problem. The position is clear, but the overall depth of the argument is somewhat superficial.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Moving forward, as a government should...' and 'Secondary, the employers...' show a lack of control over transition signals. Additionally, some sentences are disjointed, such as 'There for no time to do exercise due to burnout and direct will go to bed.' While there is an overall progression, the lack of sophisticated linking words and occasional awkward phrasing makes the flow feel somewhat forced rather than natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'good salary', 'serious health issues', and 'huge work load'. There are also instances of incorrect word choice or collocation, such as 'inconvenience' used as an adjective instead of 'inconvenient', and 'advance to' which is unclear in context. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary related to the topic of workplace health and corporate responsibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('it may occurs'), article usage ('as a government'), and sentence fragments or run-on sentences. For instance, '...unnecessary pressure cause serious health issues and it may affect not only in person as a whole country' is grammatically confusing. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and punctuation prevents the writing from reaching a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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