Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is true that these days people have less time to do exercise in their leisure time due to hectic schedule. Although this happen because of several reasons, i believe that government and people should do better action to improve it.

To begin with, there are several reasons associated with this happening. First and the foremost, people are more busy in their work owing to more competition in modern days. To explain it, they always spend quality of time their work so they can take first position from their peers. That is why they always sit in front of screen in turn of which they not only suffer from stress and anxiety but also obesity. In addition to it, these days individuals love to play indoor games like playing ludo pub g and many more rather than doing outdoor games including football, cricket and basketball. Therefore, they suffer from health issues.

Despite these issue, high authorities and individual should take an effective steps to tackle that problems. Firstly, government ought to flexible hours of work to people so they can take time for doing exercise if people do not follow that rules, they give strict punishment. In addition to it, people should make timetable to balance between work and personal activities so they do exercise on daily basis. because health is very important when they make balance in their life they not only concentrate on their work but also enjoy healthy lifestyle.

To conclude, while people have less time to do exercise due to more work schedule, i think that regulatory bodies and individuals should take an effective steps to minimize that problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the suggestion that the government should impose 'strict punishment' for not exercising is unrealistic and lacks logical depth. While the position is clear, the arguments could be better supported with more nuanced explanations. The response covers all requirements, but the depth of analysis is limited, which prevents it from reaching a higher band. The ideas are relevant but remain at a general level throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with,' 'In addition to it,' and 'To conclude,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'in turn of which' and 'despite these issue.' Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the reasons from the solutions. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the internal cohesion within sentences is occasionally strained due to grammatical errors, which makes the flow feel a bit disjointed at times.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There is a reliance on basic terms like 'people,' 'work,' and 'good/better.' Some word choices are unnatural or incorrect, such as 'do better action' instead of 'take better measures' and 'take first position' instead of 'outperform peers.' The mention of specific games like 'pub g' is informal and not entirely appropriate for an IELTS essay. To improve, you should aim for more academic collocations and a wider range of topic-specific vocabulary related to health and workplace dynamics.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'this happen,' 'government ought to flexible hours'), missing articles, and punctuation errors. For instance, 'if people do not follow that rules, they give strict punishment' is a run-on sentence with unclear pronoun reference. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from achieving a higher score. More attention to sentence boundaries and verb forms is necessary.

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