Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Nowadays, many young people spend more time on social media and less time with their families. What are the causes of this problem, and what solutions can you suggest?

In the current times, a number of teenagers have increased their screen time to use social media, while they are not giving enough time to their families. This essay will explain the reasons such as online world is more attractive for the young minds and they can pretent there to be happy. However, these have caused self-esteem issues and depression in the certain age group. The solutions such as banning some applications and involving the parents in the conversations to reduce the excessive use of omline olatform.

To begin with, there are several reasons behind this trend, but the predominent is attractiveness. The youth is running behind to create the perfect image of themselves to impress others. They click pictures of their food and their outings to post it online to get more followers and likes. In their mind, they are loved by all the followers. Although, they might be struggling in their personal life with studies, emotions or finacially. They post online as rich and smart persons. Maintainning fake world cause them depression and low-confident in real world.

However, this issue can be overcome by providing pragmatic solutions. First and foremost, the government can ban some social media applications so young people has less online platforms to waste time. For example, in China, the Facebook, TikTok and Instagram are banned so that children can invest their time to improve their hobbies. Secondly, the parents can steps to make their home more inviting rather than talking about studies and jobs all the time. They can try to share their feeling so that teenagers will understand how much their parents love them.

In conclusion, not only do adolescents are trying to make themselves happy with fake world, but also they are ignoring their families as well.

The problem can be overcome by government and parents combined efforts.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 1.0

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks about the lack of exercise among working people and potential solutions. However, the student has written an essay about young people, social media, and family relationships. Because the response fails to address the task question entirely, it cannot be assessed for task achievement in relation to the prompt provided. According to IELTS criteria, a response that is completely unrelated to the task must be awarded a very low band score for Task Response, as it does not address any part of the actual question.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'However', and 'In conclusion'. However, the logical progression is hampered by the fact that the content does not relate to the prompt. While the internal structure of the paragraphs is somewhat coherent, the lack of relevance to the task makes the overall flow ineffective. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, and some transitions feel mechanical.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary range is adequate for basic communication but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'pretent' (pretend), 'omline olatform' (online platform), 'predoment' (predominant), 'finacially' (financially), and 'Maintainning'. Additionally, there are word choice issues, such as 'running behind to create' and 'low-confident'. While the student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary related to social media, the errors are frequent enough to occasionally distract the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'the online world is more attractive' (missing article), 'in the certain age group' (incorrect article), 'young people has less' (subject-verb agreement), and 'not only do adolescents are trying' (incorrect inversion). Punctuation is also inconsistent. While the meaning is generally understandable despite these errors, the frequency of mistakes in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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