Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, In this busy era, Most of the people do not get enough time to do outdoor activities which leads to many health issues or heart related problems. In this paragraph we will explore what are the reasons behind it and what could be the solutions for this obstacle.

To start with the problems, the first thing I noticed is that internet. To elaborate it, in this modern world most of the things are done through computers and laptops at home as remote work. As in the previous years people used to go to the offices, and for that they have to travel, get up early and get ready. But now the situation is totally different , they sit for hours in front of their laptops. A survey was done in 2022 by the students of Punjab University found that 45% of individuals are suffering from obesity and stomach related issues because of remote jobs.

Secondly, younger generation is more into the social media, they spend their most of the time in front of TV shows and Movies. Which ultimately impacts negatively on their eyes. As a results, parents suffer from this as they could not get enough marks in the exams.

To solve this issue, I think remote works rates should be decreased. It should be done one or twice in a week not more than that. By which they can do at least twenty thousand steps in day which would beneficial for them in many ways. The another solution for the younger generation is that their parents should admit them in outdoor classes like swimming, judo and many more. By this, Parents can prevent their children from using excessive mobile phone and TV shows.

To Conclude, I agree that not doing the exercise can results for bad health and many other problems, but these can be mitigated by doing small changes in their daily routine like going to the office instead of choosing remote work and by joining sports classes would be good.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The point about younger generations and social media is not fully connected to the prompt's focus on 'working people,' and the argument regarding children's exam marks is irrelevant to the topic of physical health. While the solutions are relevant, they lack depth. For example, the suggestion to limit remote work is a good start, but it could be better supported by explaining the practical benefits of office-based movement. To reach a higher band, ensure all arguments directly relate to the prompt and provide more detailed explanations for each point.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'To start with the problems' and 'The another solution.' Additionally, some transitions between sentences are abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second body paragraph where the link between social media and exam marks is disjointed. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would enhance the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their ideas clearly. There are some attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'obesity' and 'mitigated.' However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'remote works rates' instead of 'the prevalence of remote work' and 'results for bad health' instead of 'results in poor health.' The range is sufficient for communication but lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Focusing on collocations and more academic phrasing would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with articles ('the internet'), subject-verb agreement ('a survey... found'), and preposition usage ('results for'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary capitalization (e.g., 'Most', 'Movies') and comma splices. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Increasing the accuracy of complex sentence structures and proofreading for basic grammatical slips will help improve this score.

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