Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays working people have left little time or no time for their physical fitness and this route to various illness. This phenomenon derived from several circumstances, which I personally believe that, this factor can be alleviated taking proper precautions.

To commence with, there are umpteen reason to drive this endeavours. Firstly, busy work schedule since individual spend majority of their day sitting in front of the system or desktop to show their complete dedication to their work or improve the productively and efficiency towards their job to earn better rewards or good salary. Moreover, after the heavy working hours, they feel extremely tried and stressed to for physical work outs. Consequently, these endeavours fetches other serious health problems like obesity, heart problems like high blood pressure and diabetics, these diseases would likely to continue for their next generation as well.

However, other experts believe that these behaviours among the individuals can be mitigated while taking certain compulsory measures like participating in company sports, creating healthcare awareness in the company as well in the society and all company should arrange gyms for their employees at offices. So that they will be highly motivated to workout due to peer influence and also for the extra benefit they gain from the company because outside fitness centres are highly expensive. Moreover, this development would likely to fetch healthy environment in company’s since this renders employee good health and also reducing the risk employees ratio.

To conclude, although, modern life style have burden of working hours and this gives people no time for the physical exercise for their well being. However, I feel that this can solved taking measures like organising sports at offices and encouraging their staff allowing for extra benegots

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the discussion on health consequences is brief and could have been expanded with more specific examples or a more nuanced explanation of the link between sedentary work and long-term health. While the solutions provided (company sports, gym facilities) are relevant, they are presented in a somewhat repetitive manner. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with clear, logical reasoning rather than just listing ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'Consequently', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'To commence with, there are umpteen reason to drive this endeavours'. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. The concluding paragraph is somewhat abrupt and contains an incomplete sentence, which affects the overall coherence of the final summary.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'this route to various illness' should be 'this leads to various illnesses', and 'this development would likely to fetch healthy environment' is non-standard. The student attempts to use some less common vocabulary like 'umpteen' and 'alleviated', but these are not always used in the most natural way. A wider range of precise vocabulary and more accurate collocations are needed to move into the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'these endeavours fetches'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'they feel extremely tried'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors is noticeable and requires attention. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and verb tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.