Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.
Why do many working people not get enough exercise?
What can be done about this problem?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
A lot of workaholic
A lot of workaholic individuals get less or no exercise either during the working day or in their leisure time, as a result of this they have body or health issues. I am going to discuss my views on this statement in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To commence with, In this century, expenses are so high because of this everybody tries to get a job to achieve a good amount of salary so they can run their lives. However, As a result of this, they spend their whole day just to earn money. They are not able to manage time for exercise and healthy diets. The only reason is their schedule is so hectic which enhance stress. as a result of this they feel tired all day.
Moving further, In my point of view, there are few things which should be done about this problem. For example, Companies can offer them yoga classes so they can do their yoga sessions after their works and make themselves relax and stressfree. Apart from it, they can run their home business and do work from home as a result of this they can stay home and eat well.
In conclusion, Although money is crucial for daily lives but if health is fine then individuals can work because Health is wealth.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for inactivity and suggesting solutions. However, the development of ideas is limited and lacks depth. The essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which negatively impacts the overall task achievement. The arguments provided, such as 'companies can offer yoga classes', are relevant but remain superficial. To improve, you must expand on your points with specific examples or detailed explanations to meet the length requirement and provide a more comprehensive response that fully explores the implications of the issues discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often repetitive and mechanical, such as the frequent use of 'as a result of this'. Some transitions are awkward, such as 'To commence with' and 'Moving further', which do not always flow naturally. The logical progression of ideas is present but basic. To achieve a higher band, you should use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your sentences are connected more fluidly rather than relying on the same repetitive phrases throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive phrasing like 'run their lives' and 'good amount of salary'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'workaholic individuals' used as a noun phrase in the opening. To improve, you should aim to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'sedentary lifestyle', 'work-life balance', or 'corporate wellness programs', and avoid repeating the same basic structures and words throughout your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include punctuation errors (e.g., 'However, As a result'), subject-verb agreement problems (e.g., 'their schedule is so hectic which enhance stress'), and awkward phrasing. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors occur frequently enough to distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct subject-verb agreement, and refining your use of punctuation. Practicing complex sentences will also help you demonstrate better control over your grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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