Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

One of the most pressing issue faced in fast-paced lifestyle is that the masses who are employed are having numerous of health concerns as they rarely get time to look after their mental and physical fitness. The following paragraphs will articulate both the reasons and solutions to mitigate this concerning issue.

To begin with, major contributing factor is the competition at workplace. Most people compare themselves with their colleagues in terms of performance and their links with management which ultimately lead to stress during working hours. It has been proved by a study conducted at Paris university that 85% of the employed people who compare themselves with their team/department has suffered from obesity and stress.

To address this issue, employer should take immediate necessary actions to mitigate this problem. One effective solution can be organising psychology classes for their workers in order to get their mind relaxed and stress-free. Another remedy would be installing a gym which should have basic facilities like treadmill, weights and stairs. Employees can enjoy these perks during their leisure time and thus can gradually improve their physical shape. Physical fitness itself prevents from various cardiovascular diseases as it improves heart health. Obesity is another problem that can be cured doing workout.

In conclusion, tackling this problem requires both employer and employees efforts. Workers should stop competing among themselves as each one of them is hired based on their own personal skills. Furthermore, it becomes the duty of employer to look after their employees as they spend most of their time working in company instead of spending with their family.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as workplace competition and the provision of gym facilities. However, the development is somewhat limited. For instance, the link between workplace competition and obesity is asserted rather than explained in depth, and the solutions could be more thoroughly explored. While the position is clear, the essay would benefit from more detailed examples or a more nuanced discussion to reach a higher band. The response is sufficient in length and covers all requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the reasons from the solutions. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Another remedy', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'this concerning issue' which could be more precisely linked. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, and the structure supports the reader's understanding throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task. You use some topic-specific terms like 'cardiovascular diseases', 'mitigate', and 'leisure time'. However, there are some inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'numerous of health concerns' (should be 'numerous health concerns') and 'prevents from various cardiovascular diseases' (should be 'prevents various...'). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but the lack of more sophisticated or precise vocabulary prevents a higher score. Focusing on collocations and avoiding redundant prepositions will improve your lexical precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'major contributing factor is' (missing an article: 'a major...'), 'employer should take' (should be plural: 'employers'), and 'cured doing workout' (should be 'cured by doing workouts'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. The control over punctuation is generally good, but the frequency of minor grammatical slips keeps the score in the 6.0 range. Increasing the variety of complex structures while ensuring subject-verb agreement will help improve your score.

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