Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, health becomes wealth for each and everyone. Although some people believe that there are few attempts taken by individual in order to perform exercises regardless of working time or free time which lead significant problem towards their heath, and I believe that workload which involves whole day shift as well as lack of accessibility become vital factors behind this trend. However, workers benefits and government infrastructure could resolve this concern.

First and foremost, corporate job involves demanding work which requires not only seating arrangements in-front of computers but also work pressure which makes impossible to do exercise as it leads mental pressure and it is time consuming. Thus, owing to facing excessive workload, people prefer to perform rather then yoga and other beneficial activities. In addition to that, nowadays, there are surge in developments for industries and housing apartment. As a result, very few place for garden which is main place to explore morning exercise. Besides this, gym membership are expensive and majority of people can not afford it on daily basis. So, lack of appropriate place hampers people for not being heath conscious.

Nevertheless, governments should focus on developing parks and also implement some campaigns which enhance people's knowledge regarding how to improve health by focusing on yoga and consuming healthy diet. Moreover, companies should provide some work benecificits which involves some discounts on either gym membership or arobitic exercise class. Consequently, it foster individuals to take care of their health.

In conclusion, excessive work pressure and lack of appropriate place play a crucial role in not performing exercise, whereas campaings from governments can encourage people to do exercise and discounts on membership encourage people to participate in it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the lack of exercise and potential solutions. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation regarding 'work pressure' is a bit repetitive, and the point about 'housing apartments' lacks specific detail or a clear link to how this prevents exercise. While the ideas are relevant, they could be extended further with more concrete examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. The response covers all requirements, but the depth of argument remains at a functional level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'In addition to that', 'Nevertheless', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'So, lack of appropriate place hampers people for not being heath conscious.' Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences can occasionally feel disjointed due to grammatical errors. Overall, the progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'corporate job', 'infrastructure', and 'beneficial activities'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'heath' instead of 'health', 'benecificits' for 'benefits', and 'arobitic' for 'aerobic'. These errors do not impede communication, but they indicate a lack of precision. To improve, the student should focus on accurate spelling and more natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('health becomes wealth', 'gym membership are expensive') and article usage ('very few place for garden'). Some sentences are awkward, such as 'people prefer to perform rather then yoga'. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. The student should work on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring consistent verb forms.

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