Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Why do many working people not get enough exercise?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this fast paced era, people are busy in earning money for their family. It argued by some people, working male and female do not spend time on exercise during the weekdays, leading to have many health issues. Although there are multiple causes behind this concern, it can be mitigate by taking some steps.

it is undeniable, there are many causes behind sedentary behaviour. Firstly, people have to spend long hours at their work, and after that they do not have enough time to do exercise. Therefore, they face many health issues, such as organ failure, fatty liver, and high blood pressure. For instance, people who do not do exercise have more health issues as compared to the others.Moreover, many people are not aware about the exercise benefits, they find it wastage of time. They like to spend time on mobile phone or social media instead of doing exercise.

This problem can be solved if employers encourage employees to do exercise by providing free gym membership. Additionally, employer should not force them to spend long hours in the office, the time limit should be maximum working hours as per government guidelines. Furthermore, government can take initiative to improve citizens physical health. They can aware people by organizing awareness campaign, and providing free regular check-up services, when people will know about the health issue in their body, they will follow regular exercise routine.

To conclude, although no exercise has a cause of many health issues, employer and government can encourage people to do exercise by providing free services. As a result, people can live a healthy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for a lack of exercise and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as long working hours and the sedentary nature of modern technology. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the mention of 'organ failure' as a direct consequence of not exercising is an over-generalisation and lacks nuance. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly extended with specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. The response covers all requirements but remains at a basic level of development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'Additionally', and 'Furthermore', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by grammatical errors, such as the missing subject in 'It argued by some people'. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within sentences could be improved to ensure a smoother progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'sedentary behaviour' and 'awareness campaign'. However, the range is limited, and there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'it can be mitigate' (should be 'mitigated') and 'they can aware people' (should be 'raise awareness among people'). The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main points but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'It argued by some people' (passive voice error), 'leading to have' (incorrect verb form), and 'employer should not force' (missing article). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage after introductory phrases. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they are frequent enough to indicate a lack of control over more complex structures, keeping the score in the 5.5 to 6.0 range.

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